Wow, I Didn't Know You Could Get That In A Giant Economy Pack!

This post is sashaying about flirtatiously right on my self-imposed boundary lines of decency. However, I can no longer quell the constant internal dialogue that strikes up within me whenever I bear witness to the pervasive fugliness on display in this yard. If you're easily offended, this is an opportune time to go catch up on your Smurf latch-hook pillow project you've been working on for the past 25 years.


Behold The Wicked Light Fixtures Lighting Up The Forbidden Path:And Here's The Up Close And Personal And In Yo Face Zoom Version:

Upon further scrutiny with my steely Infidel eyes, all I could think was hoooooollllyyyy crrrraaaapppp, when did the adult novelty stores add a lawn & garden department?

Look, I'm all for dual-function products to optimize efficiency and practicality but these yard lights are careening down a very slippery slope. There's some dark crevices where a light just shouldn't be shone into unless you're a practicing physician. I don't even want to think about the crossover potentials of this kind of perversion. What's next, pulsing, vibrating flashlights for your annual family camp-out? And the very worst part is that while these lawn lights with their solar-charged batteries may be eco-friendly and all, but do we really, honestly want to live in a world where people brazenly flaunt their personal toys right out in the front yard during broad daylight like this?

I think I heard the homewoner somewhere behind the beveled-glass front door crooning the main chorus to You Light Up My Life as I stealthily snapped this picture. Putting the "bedroom" in "bedroom community." Shazam!

I've been a bad, bad girl. I know. I'm ashamed. I need to be punished. You should get out the velevet whi.........oh wait, what you should really do is click right here on this banner for me. It's a secret petition to stop the manufacturers of ugly yard lights. CLICKETY! Gracias.