What Does A Beaver, A Dumass, And A Mormon Chick All Have In Common?

Well, riddle me this and riddle me that. It just so happens that I'm the unifying factor behind the implausible list of seemingly unrelateable items!

In just 6 short hours I'm boarding a plane that will whisk me off to the wonders of The Beaver State where I'm planning to spend my weekend frolicking in the company of Carrot Jello, a Millie Chicken, and 12 other assorted bloggy chicks with strange and wonderful bloggy aliases. Three whole days of Blog Sister iniation rites including (root) beer chug-a-lugs and getting "Bloggy Sisters 4 Ever" (temporary) tattoos inked on our biceps. Shhhh, don't tell anyone, but I'm going to attempt to single-handedly revive the old sleepover party trick of placing a victim's hand in a glass of warm water while they sleep.

I'm too friggin slothful pressed for time to link all 3 of the posts I've written singing the wondrous carne asada praises of our favorite taqueria: Dumass Tacos. Mr. Dumass himself gave me one of their famed Dumass Taco T-shirts as a Christmas gift.

On the first day of Christmas Mr. Dumass gave to me.........a T-shirt with a buck-toothed donkeeeeee........

Anyway, I've been saving it to wear for a special occasion. I can think of nothing more befitting than sharing the gospel of Texas Taco love with the fine, Dumass Taco-less citizens of Oregon.

And yes I will be partaking of the Vamp/Werewolf novel (Breaking Dawn) madness that's sure to permeate all conversation this weekend. I'm going to read it on the plane.

I already correctly guessed one of the main plot twists. My Twilight-obsessed daughters reluctantly revealed that a new character in the book is named Reneesmee. That equals to the perverted equation of Rene+Esme. It's a classic Mormon name smush..........which given that the author, Stephenie Meyer, is, in fact, a Mormon, that's not too surprising.

I've had a lot of fun taking the Stephenie Meyer naming logic and applying it to my own kids. Here's the rules: You simply cull a new set of craptastical, never-before-heard-of names by combining the monikers of your closest family members.

My Tribe Of 6 Mini-Infidels Have All Been Rechristened As:

Jacaria

Macquelyn

Hectames

Leorro

Edwio

Melacio

Oooooh, they're all so UNEEK and so PURDY! I'm going to sit down and pen a novel right now using the above list as a source for all my character names.

And finally I'd like to wish a Happy Birthday to my youngest son, Boo Boo, who will be motherless today as he kisses his whirlwind year of being 6, goodbye. Boo Boo is the grand prize winner of the Maternal Guilt Sweepstakes. I never splurge and order character cakes from the store because I'm ridiculously cheap. Why pay 20 bucks for a 1/4 sheet cake when you can make your own for a couple dollars? Anyway, I felt bad about not being here to celebrate his birthday. I hope the joy of a Kung Fu Panda cake will balance out the pain from my absence. Actually Boo Boo will likely always remember the next few days without me as a hap-hap-happy "NAG-FREE JUBILEE!"

*Boo Boo was an unexpected surprise baby but his nickname does not pertain to any birth control mishaps, just in case you're wondering*

Take good care of my blog while I'm gone, aight? Don't forget to feed and water it (NOT after midnight!).....oh, and my blog likes to be rubbed on its belly sometimes. You'll make this blog whine through the night if you don't leave it at least 100 comments. It'll also crap on your new carpet. I trust you'll do the right thing.