I'm Elastic but all my close personal foodie friends call me Clearance Closeout Queen.
You know like that Billy Ocean song, Caribbean Queen but I'm much better because unlike her I never get sand in my pageant bathing suit-only marked down candy bars that taste like sunscreen.
"Oh, Clearance Closeout Queen.....now we're sharing the same dream..."
My Turn-Ons Include: That Frugal Gourmet Guy, Orange And Red Price Stickers, Special Managers And Their Big, Sexy 'Manager's Special' Pricing Guns, Long Walks Down The Dollar Store Aisles, And Getting Lucky On The Scratch&Dent Tables.
My Turn-Offs Are: Paying Retail, Mean Old Bargain Meat Bin Hags In Flowered House Dresses, Expired Coupons, And The Devastating Heartbreak Of (Package) Shrinkage.
Now HERE'S Where I Show Off My Tantalizing Assortment Of Goodies:
Yes, we've enjoyed an exceptionally good grocery store week. Thanks to coupons, sales, and clearance items I fed my entire Infidel family of 8 for 9 days on $120.00.
That doesn't mean that we strictly dined on Ramen Noodle Surprise or SPAM Casserole either.
Nope. It's been a regular whirlwind of churning out culinary delights from the Infidel kitchen, same as always.
I cooked up something so delectable a few days ago that it made us all drool droplets of spittle into an endless pool of saliva.
Google DONUT MUFFINS, people. Do it now. And then go make some. (PSSSSST.....I used THIS recipe)
Being the Clearance Closeout Queen has its perks!
One of the first entries I wrote here on The Smiling Infidel was about our friendly grocery store SUSHI MAN.
Yesterday Mr. Sushi Man bequeathed an entire bucketful of primo brown rice to me for the sum total of ZERO dollars!
When it comes to free food, I see no color.
I live in a world where brown rice and white rice can live together as one in peace and harmony.
I may not be too expedient in commenting for the next few days as I immerse myself in the wonderful world of rice recipes.
And no, Mr. Sushi Man is not my secret love.
My passion can't be bought for a mere bucket of rice because I'm worth at least a Sushi Sampler Platter or two.
30 comments:
I want some donut muffins. Now I just need to get some ingredients. I don't have any of those things.
Hooray for bargains! You are the queen. Thanks for the donut muffin recipe. I'm trying it out tomorrow.
SCORE one for the team! Cheap is the next best thing to free. Free rice is a delicacy.
Donut muffins!!!! The marriage of two of my favorite starchy snacks rolled into one! I must make these!
I love all your bargain shopping... you are my bargain gourmet idol!
When I lived in Korea I lived off of sushi... because it is better than Korean food (I agree with your Japanese friend). Brown rice rocks - you can cook it in chicken/veg stock for those who don't like it so much. My favorite is brown rice cooked in veg stock topped with cheddar cheese, dry fried zucchini and tofu cubes coated in chicken-fry and fried in canola oil.... mmmmmm.
Donut muffins? Holy smack. I don't know how many times I've tried to make homemade donuts, only to have my dreams shattered... I bet I could do those, though.
Move here and teach me to shop, Shopping Sensei.
now that's a lot of rice, you could start your own third world country with that haul
Teach me o' wise one,to bargain shop like thee.
Billy Ocean ha ha ha!!! Haven't heard of him in awhile! As soon as I had your Closeout Clearance Queen stuck in my head, "Get out of My Car...& into my dreams" jumped in my head and is now stuck on repeat!
Donut Muffins MMMMMM...I will try really soon, I was thinking of starting a diet, but not until I try those babies!
Awesome deals, especially on that brown rice!!!!
Wow, you are GREAT.
I'll have to give those donut muffins a try--my Seminary kids would love them.
Nothing better than saving money at the grocery store (well, there are things better, but it does feel great ; )
Donut muffins. That Will be googled. I may be very English but muffins (not the so called English ones) and Doughnuts together... That's bliss!
WOW that's awesome, nice job. Frugal is the new chic!
Good thing I'm not a donut freak or I"d be in big trouble. Raspberries for 99¢? Now that's a steal with appeal!
Oh great! You had to mention something like Donut muffins where the mere mention of something like this has me drooling. I'm gonna have to give it a whirl!
Elastic's life of perfect harmony where the ebony & ivory rice will be consumed in the same fashion:)
ooh baby, you are one hot savemate of the month, elastica. i bow to your wealth of supersaver knowledge.
I made the donut muffins, then used an injector to put raspberry jelly into the middle. OH MAN best.thing.ever.
anonymous- You're putting some very unholy/unhealthy donut muffin fantasies into my mind.
I'm not all that great at saving money. I'm just really struggling to get my family out of debt. Every single time we get close to conquering our bills something else happens to set us back. And in that I'm grateful for the blessings of health so we can continue working because the blessings of craploads of money falling out of the sky and at my feet just ain't happening. :)
Anyway, the grocery store thing was a fluke. It was the perfect storm of money-saving elements all converging at one time to save me big at the register. If gas stays low and I can score cheap groceries, we may be able to eke our way out of this looming recession.
J-Mom- Actually I can't stop singing a version of Three Blind Mice to myself.
"Free Brown Rice.....Free Brown Rice....See How It Cooks....See How It Cooks......"
jams- Donut Muffins aren't vegan as they have enough butter mixed in it to grease up a bodybuilder ready to take the stage in a bodybuilding competition.
I think that was the real secret to Arnold Schwarzenegger's success in addition to steroids.
Did anyopne notice the deeply discounted hummus?!!!?
That Athenos brand is usually around $4.59 a container and I scored it for $1.75.
I picked up some big bags of $1.50 pitas (they're freshly baked in brick ovens!) at our local Mediterranean Grill and we've been feasting Middle eastern style ever since Friday.
Well, except for the one small non-Halal, non-Kosher friendly detail that we started lining our pita wrap sandwiches with HAM when we ran out of marinated chicken breast.
May Allah/Elohim forgive our dining transgressions.
See, now, why can't I shop like that? I go to the grocery, spend a horrible amount of money and two days later everyone says they're starving!
Do you do housecalls, great Elastic One? If you came to my house and I gave you $120 could you feed my family of five for 9 days?
I'm getting desperate here!!!
You are the queen! I might be tempted by the brown rice bucket...not too much passion mind, is a coy smile enough?
Package shrinkage is so disconcerting!
So, we always save money shopping at Aldi. Do you have one where you live? We love Aldi. You never need coupons at Aldi because a big bottle of mouthwash is only a dollar. Who needs to buy mouthwash for less than that? Not me!
I would consider myself pretty racist when it comes to brown rice. I can't stand the stuff, but I'll eat it if it's hidden in something else.
Mr. Sushi Man rawks! Evne though he might have overheard you making fun of him...allegedly
I'm pretty sure they'll overlook your trangressions... just so long as you're willing to share the recipes ;)
Your kids did a great job singing. You really do have your own little choir.
Yeah, I told Matt I'm not so sure I felt the spirit during the program but I was warm. :) The kids are funny. I think Jeremy Ball was my favorite. He didn't want to look at anyone once he got up to the podium. Hilarious!
Is that hummus on sale for $1.75??? Where the heck was that? I would buy them out...
I LOVE markdowns and closeouts and coupons and stuff! :)
Lately our local Kroger (they call it Fry's in our area) has been accepting competitor's coupons. I can take a "$6 off a $30 purchase" coupon from a store I don't like and use it at the Kroger store. SCORE!
What is "hummus"?
I love how modest you are about your ability to score.
...on low prices for food items, I mean.
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