Sunday, January 17, 2010
While traversing the neighborhood last week, I spotted a young, pimped-out, pierced, tattooed, fried-and-dyed Mohawk-wearing punk standing in his driveway.....I know, big freakin deal, right? Wrong.
So, was this poster child for "Extreme Body Makeover" outside listening to some thrashin' death metal music? Or perhaps perfecting his vandalism techniques while training his beloved Pit Bull, "Lucifer's Beast" how to kill on command?
The correct answer is: None of the Above.
I witnessed this proud member of Hell's Army meticulously cleaning his midnight black T-shirt, that featured a big white pentagram on the front, with a lint brush.
Yeah, I actually circled back around just to catch another amusing glimpse of this obsessively fastidious devil worshipper in the middle of some serious grooming action.
T-shirt fuzz......the leading strategy in taking down OCD-afflicted minions of darkness.
It's common knowledge that cleanliness is next to godliness but who knew that cleanliness is also next to satanliness?
Got an avowed devil worshipper on your gift-giving list? Buy a super-duper lint roller for them! Keeping the forces of darkness clean and aesthetically pleasing.......that's how they roll!