What? You're Still Talking About That Flippin Hurricane? Are You Ever Going To Get Over It?

It's only been 3 weeks since Hurricane Ike blew through. No, I'm NOT over it yet.
My Papi lost his office building to a tornado that spun off from the Hurricane.
It landed on the building, shattering windows and flooding the lower level.
We still have damage to our house and we're still trying to recoup the loss of two refrigerators worth of food.

Things are just now starting to feel a little like normal again.

I'm usually loathe to read The Houston Chronicle. However, the front page story last week made me giddy with joy.
Meet 60 year old Madelaine Carter, who, as of last Thursday, still didn't have her electricity back on.
When asked by the reporter about her situation and how it felt to be surrounded by others who were enjoying their restored power, she was quoted as saying, "Everyday is pretty much the same. You sweat, and you HATE everyone."
I'm nominating Madelaine Carter as the unofficial spokeswoman for the Houston Hurricane aftermath.
I HEART her to the infinite butt-sweat towel power!

Houston is known by many titles:
Space City
H-Town
Bayou City
Home Of The Smiling Infidel
4th Largest City In America
Fattest City (Awarded By Men's Health Magazine)
Beyonce's Hometown

After seeing the mountainous piles of tree remnants stacked up in neighborhood yards awaiting city pick-up, I considered another title to add to Houston's impressive profile.
Houston: Firewood Capital Of The World
This picture would look fantastic on some new glossy travel brochures touting the firewood surplus that Houston has to offer.

I maneuvered the mighty Infidel truck into a squealing U-Turn so I could go back and take a picture of this little irony in action.
Out of the 6 businesses in this local shopping strip, Lucky Money was the ONLY one that sustained major smackdown damage.
Lucky Money......Or Is It?
I guess Hurricane Ike and I share mutual feelings regarding check cashing "services". You'd be better off doing business with greased-down, slicked-back Tommy Salami over in Little Italy.
Tommy will offer you a more reasonable interest rate.

I drive past this house every day and I still can't get over my amazement at the tremendous force that ripped up their colossal tree, roots and all.
Using this picture as a guide, it's somewhat difficult to gauge the staggering height of the huge chunk of formerly front yard turf standing straight up.
It extends all the way to the tippy top of their second floor roof line.
For reals.

We nicknamed this tree in bondage, "Gulliver" because it appears as though a tribe of Lilliputians showed up, tied it up, and staked it up so that poor "Gulliver" can never escape and run free with any roving gangs of young, rebellious trees.

There's many of us around here that can now proudly display a "LANDSCAPING BY HURRICANE IKE" sign in our yards.

It's interesting to note that when you play the Scissors, Rock, Paper game in nature, the paper will usually win.
Paper comes from trees, right? And these trees decimated everything they fell on. They crunched and munched their way through a couple tons of SUV metal along with a sturdy rod iron fence.

We met this friendly father of four while pumping gas a week ago. Like us, he still didn't have water or electricity but at least he had an important message to share with the World:
"Protect Your Nuts"
We would all be wise to hearken upon this wise counsel.
I'm happy to report that our nuts remain blessedly intact to see another day from the inside of a nice loaf of banana nut bread.

There's Even More Stupefying Hurricane Pictures Over At Boston.Com

And Then I Had To Scream Hysterically At My Mini-Infidels....."Watch Where You Step, There's Naked Nuts Everywhere!!!"

I won't lie to you, I've seen many a Naked Nut in my life but never as many as the Naked Nut supply amassed on the shelves at our local 99 Cents Only Store.
Some heathen left their Naked Nut sack open and exposed to the world.
Well, the inevitable happened when a passing lady snagged the bag with her shopping cart thus spilling salty Naked Nuts everywhere.
I'll readily cry over spilled milk because it's freakin expensive but I refuse to cry over spilled dollar store Naked Nuts.
It was when I eagerly grabbed the Naked Nut sack to closely examine it further that I noticed the interesting expiration date.
Obviously, these are not just your average, ordinary Naked Nuts that go bad at the most inopportune moment. No, these little beauties are long-lasting Naked Nuts. They don't expire until 3009.
Whoa, who knew that Naked Nuts could achieve that kind of shelf life?
I propose that all of you who are serious about building up your family food storage go immediately to the 99 Cents Only Store to get your fill of Apocalyptic Naked Nuts meant to last a whole millennium.
Just think, your great-great-great-great-great grandkids can chomp down on your Naked Nuts 1,000 years in the future. A lasting legacy, to be sure.
I think I'm duty-bound to pass along this vitally important post in an e-mail to the Ward Preparedness Committee and possibly the Relief Society Presidency, too........anonymously.

We thank thee for the Naked Nuts we are about to receiveth. Amen.