Monday, June 05, 2006
The Measure Of Success
To most people, this is an invaluable exercise device called a pedometer. It's used to calculate the total amounts of steps taken and give a digital read out of calories burned.
McDonald's had a promotion recently where they gave pedometers away with food purchase. Considering this unlikely source for fitness guidance, we all just laughed about it, but then something struck me. In Spanish, the word for "fart", or "flatulence", for you more genteel readers, is PEDO. Thus making a true PEDOmeter, a measure of one's farts. Constantly recording and accurately counting your every toot. How would you like to have a digital display of that? I wonder how many calories farting actually burns? My Dad says that the average American passes gas 14 times a day. I'm ready to strap on a pedometer and do the scientific research on this myself because I AM The Smiling Infidel, seeker of truth and knowledge in all things.