Thursday, October 16, 2008

If Anyone Needs Me I'll Be In My Kitchen Shooting Rock Videos Inside A Bowl Of Tomato Soup

When I'm tired, I get a little bit loopy......and then the non-stop parade of drunken giggling begins. Now, new and improved drunken giggling with banana-scented flying spittle!
Comedy Clubs can do away with the 2 drink minimum and just require guests to show up after having worked two days straight with little to no sleep. I can guarantee they'll be more loosened up and ready to laugh at whatever mediocre comedian takes the stage. Heck, a crowd like that will double over and almost wet themselves when the owner starts the show by pointing out the emergency exits and the No Smoking sign.
The club can make up revenue in food sales.
I know. I've worked 2 days straight and I'm feeling a weird bubble-headed sensation along with being faminous.
I made that word up. Ravenous+Famished=FAMINOUS

Okay, if I go to sleep now I won't wake up to get my mini-Infidels off the bus or drive my girls to Homeschool Teen Camp because I'll immediately enter a comatose state that not even a kiss from my true love, Papi will be able to awaken me from.
So to keep me awake, I watched a heralded video debut on youtube from a group called The Urgency.
It features young men who may or may not have just escaped from junior high detention hall in enough time to make it to the video shoot.
Personally, I'd expel them for singing about the raunchiest of things while a woman who looks twice their age shakes it in a sequined goddess outfit. The poor thing can't even open her eyes because her lids have been spackled with more glitter than you'd find at a Princess Party for a hyper 5 year old.
Oh, and did I mention that it appears as though they're singing in some sort of hazy purgatory that looks an awful lot like they took a wrong turn and ended up in the middle of a bowl of tomato soup?
This video presentation is brought to you in part from our sponsor, Campbell's Soup, because Campbell's is Mmmmm Mmmmm Good.
The funniest for me was some of the comments posted underneath this video masterpiece.
My favorite read: "At first I thought they were gay. And then I found out that they're actually from New Hampshire, and I was like, yeah, that explains a lot."
I've been quoting that piece of brilliance all day today.....and then following it up with a bout of drunken giggling complete with another round of banana-scented flying spittle.
You see what a crappy economy is doing to the entertainment industry? Do you??!!? Instead of special effects created hot molten lava or shooting flames, these young ingenues are forced to settle for prancing around in a hot steaming bowl of tomato soup.
Maybe they should have added The Urgency onto that ridiculous pork-laden 700 billion dollar governmental bailout.
Ooops, excuse me. At last count our New World Order commander, Presidente Bush had tacked on yet another 200 billion.
Round and round the trillion dollar debt grows. Will it stop? Nobody knows.

As a complete bonus, the lead singer of The Urgency bears a startling resemblance to that randy goat herder, Balki Bartokomous.
People, how can you take punk rock seriously when your lead singer looks like Balki Bartokomous and adds a weird superfluous "S" to the end of his song lyrics?!??!?
"Well, of course you can't, don't be ree-dee-cu-lous."

*I've tried to spare your intestinal mechanisms from churning and working overtime this fine day but if you really MUST see the video I'm mocking, it's HERE.


Millie said...


Klin said...


Jean Knee said...


isn't that balki guy dead?

Suburban Hippie said...

He is not in fact dead... a friend of mine worked with him recently and asked him about how his "cousin" was... she said he was not at all amused.

Nancy Face said...

Have you gotten any sleep yet? ;)

Jay said...

I know all about the hysteria that comes with extreme tiredness! And the fear that once you give in you'll never wake up again - well, at least not for three days.

I hope you get some good quality sleep soon, but in the meantime, that was very, very funny! LOL!

Physcokity said...

YIKES! I only lasted about thirty seconds on that video and I was hoping you could clarify my query.

How on earth did you find this vid?

That lady must definitely be one of the original Bond girls...ick

That video makes me scared to even go near flecks of glitter on the glitter aisle.