Okay. As promised, Part TWO of my gift registry rant.
The most disturbing trend we've noticed is wedding gift registrations for young LDS couples requesting wine goblets and champagne flutes. The holy heck!!????!!! For what intent and purposes do they need these items for? In case you aren't aware, Mormons do NOT consume alcohol, so why ask for wine glasses? So many times I have wanted to ask somebody, but interrogating people on their wedding day about weird registry items just never seemed very appropriate. Even afterwards, it seems like an invasive question to ask. So, here are a few theories as to the use of this glassware.
1. The couple is too poor for a piano so they line up the wine goblets, fill them with varying amounts of water, grab a few spoons and delicately tap out the melodies to all of Donny Osmond's greatest hits.
2. The bride heard a rumor that you can eavesdrop better on your neighbors with a wine goblet to the wall because the sound is amplified through glass stems.
3. Yes, we may live in run down campus housing and have to sell our firstborn child to pay our student loans but we love eating our Ramen noodles off of fine bone china and drinking our red Kool-Aid out of Waterford Crystal flutes.
4. The happy couple stacks the wine glasses up in a pyramid formation and then practices throwing bean bags at it to topple them over. This way they will really clean up at the County Fair and can redecorate with all the giant stuffed Scooby Doo's they're sure to win.
5. Martha Stewart has somehow sent out subliminal messages that have morally corrupted LDS youth into thinking they actually need wine glasses that will never see wine and champagne flutes that will never hold champagne and shot glasses that can only be used for suction therapy.
6. The more glasses, the more color selections when they dye their Easter eggs.
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