Thursday, February 02, 2006

CHEWY BALLS



There's a new eating establishment in town and Chewy Balls be thy name. As you can see, it also has a somewhat unusual moniker. Okay, forget unusual, it has a , 'WTH were they smoking when they named this place'?, kind of name. I snapped the photo as evidence under the cover of darkness because how awkward would that be to have to tell someone that you're taking pictures of Chewy Balls? Nice girls just don't do that.
*I just noticed that the picture actually has the words, 'GRILL CHEWY BALLS', so amusing for the immature among us, like me*

Admittedly, I didn't earn a degree in marketing but I've always assumed that businesses use focus groups to come up with names and product ideas and reactions from the public before investing in their venture? Chewy Balls is in reference to Asian smoothies, teas, and other drinks that are served with tapioca spheres in the bottom of the cup. Yes, they are delightfully refreshing drinks that soothe the palate, but couldn't they have given their store a better name? What, was Love Juice already taken? Then at least it would give people a connection between the name of the place and what they sell, like an offshoot of Jamba Juice.

My kids are all under the age of 10. They homeschool and I know that they haven't been tainted in the wicked ways of the World (like I have, hee-hee). In other words they don't know about body part euphemisms, and dirty connotations. Even so, upon passing this place, they say, "Chewy Balls? EEEWWWWW, that sounds nasty", every single time.

In this household 8 out of 8 Smiling Infidels agree....... the name is horrid.

Those are some big statistics considering only 6 out of 8 Smiling Infidels agree that Trident gives you clean breath and shiny teeth.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

I quite like the name. It certainly has a nice ring to it, and it is a name you will not forget.

"Honey, where do you want to eat tonight?" CHEWEY BALLS!! SOUNDS GREAT.

I personally love Chewey Balls. They are my favorite.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Oh, mormon family man, YOU are the true definition of ROFL. Can you imagine the poor health inspector that has to certify this place?

"Food license denied because of Chewy Balls unsanitary conditions." or "Chewy Balls kept at unsafe temperatures", or "I inspected Chewy Balls and found them to be dirty".

What if you worked there? "Yeah, I work cleaning Chewy Balls".

Apparently, this place could be a bottomless pool of amusement for me.

MAJOR!!! It's about time you publicly admit your love for Chewy Balls. Hey, Major, lets double date tomorrow. There is no better way to spend a Saturday night than going to see, 'Brokeback Mountain', and topping off the night with some Chewy Balls!

Anonymous said...

that sounds great to me!

I feel that Brokeback Mountain may open a whole new world of lots of chewey balls.

White Man Retarded said...

You must have big balls to post this...I have a funny story (btw, remember "biblical balls"?). I just graduated with my R.N. and for extra credit during school we attended a seminar with Isaac Hayes as a guest speaker about the importance of eating 'kidney-friendly' foods, one type of which is low sodium. At the end of the seminar he offered to sign autographs and discuss his material. So, I stood in line and when it was my turn, I asked, "So what am I supposed to substitue for salt in your recipe for your 'Chocolate Salty Balls'?" He loved it!

White Man Retarded said...

The restaurant could play AC/DC's song "Big Balls" for further ambience...

elasticwaistbandlady said...

I think that they could generate some great publicity by getting involved in the community.

Can you picture it?

"Chewy Balls is the proud sponsor of National Men's Health Awareness Month focusing on self-examinations. Thanks for your support, Chewy Balls".

elasticwaistbandlady said...

SHUT YO MOUTH! You talked to Issac Hayes and made him laugh? SHAZAM!

Whenever we eat Chinese food and they have 'chicken balls', my husband always says, "Oh, poor little chickens, that's just mean".

elasticwaistbandlady said...

miss biotech, you're going to buy Chewy Balls. I'm shocked!!!!

All this time I thought that YOU were a nice girl......

Sister Pottymouth said...

This is SO FUNNY!!!! The best part is that if you look really closely at your picture, it says not only "Grill Chewy Balls," but "I Grill Chewy Balls"! I wonder if they sell nut-free foods for eunuchs?

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Well Julie, Chewy Balls truly has something for everybody, even Eunuchs, provided they like overpriced drinks, of course..

They carry all sizes and colors of Chewy Balls. Yours for the asking!

elasticwaistbandlady said...

You know they could have had built in promotional appeal had they located themselves next to your friendly neighborhood Hooter's restaurant.

Syar said...

there is a name for those things, its called bubble tea. which admittedly, is an idea that doesn't need a bong or a kegger to be conceived.

"Hey, you have some chewy balls stuck on your front tooth."

oh the possibilities.