Lest any ethnic, racial, sexual orientation, culture, weight, or religious group feel slighted, I have made it my personal duty to be diverse and inclusive. Yes, I will strive to offend everybody on a grand scale because I don't want any hurt feelings from being left out.
My 10 year old daughter, Sunbum was miserable in public schools. The oldest child tends to take on a 'people pleasing' characteristic, and that perfectly describes her. Sunbum was a teacher's pet but often tormented by her peers. She only had 3 or 4 really close friends, and she was introverted, shy and easily overwhelmed. WOW, what a difference 1 year of homeschooling has made. Now, she has really cultivated a wicked sense of humor. Whereas teasing would have reduced her to tears just a year earlier, she now has a snappy, caustic remark for anyone who dares try to mess with her. I don't have favorites among my kids, but sometimes I love her the most. Especially, when she burns someone who really deserves it. Not a Christ-like attribute I know, but neither is being stomped on and abused.
Here is her current favorite joke, and she tells it flawlessly, but not to the Catholic side of our family.
A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down but says nothing. The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk just sits there. Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall. The drunk mumbles, "ain't no use knockin mate, there's no toilet paper over here either."
Mothering involves teaching your children everything that you know. I couldn't be more proud!
3 comments:
you had a complaint today! oh my!
good for your daughter, though. Perhaps she will be the first female president, well, after Hillary (I secretly want to be Hillary!!)
Well, thats all for now.
SHHHH, Major, you signed a confidentiality clause that prohibits you from slandering my good character and flawless reputation.
Are we talking about Hillary Duff? Get out of here, I didn't know that she had Presidential aspirations! With a dynamo of "talent" like her she can not only be President but also perform at her own Inauguration galas.
No, she didn't write the joke herself, but her delivery of it is perfect. None of the great speakers write their own material, so that doesn't matter much. I have high hopes for her prospering and keeping me in the lap of luxury surrounded by Twinkies in my old age.
I'll take care of O'Henry but you should know that my towels have adopted the Law Of Chastity. They are choosing to be chaste despite the temptations of your seductive, persuasive cat.
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