Friday, March 03, 2006

Finger Lickin Good!

This is a decidedly vulgar and crass story, but amusing nonetheless.

My husband, Papi, is a most refined individual who prides himself on his cultural acumen, and manners. However, one evening while lying in bed reading, he rolled over me to switch off the bedside lamp. Unfortunately, my mouth was open and his finger brushed across my lips. Upon closing my mouth, my senses detected the most abominable taste ever. I gagged and yelled at Papi, "EWWWW GROSS, your finger tastes really bad". To which, Papi smiled and inquired, "Really? What does it taste like?". Of course being the honest, virtuous woman that I am, I didn't want to lie just to spare his feelings so I told him, "It tastes like you've just been scratching your butt". Papi started making all these siren noises and screaming, WHOOP, WHOOP!, like I had just won the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes. Then he laughed and admitted, "Yep, girlie, you got it EXACTLY right, congratulations"!

Will somebody please remind me why eternal marriages are so important?


6 comments:

Mimo- JenK said...

Ewwwww!

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Usually Papi is such a gentleman, so I think he was just joking. I hope that he was just joking......

Maybe it's a sign of a low maturity level, but I still laugh when I think about this incident.

wendela said...

Mimo beat me to it. Ewwwww.

Sister Pottymouth said...

In the words of my 2-year-old, "Dat's NAAAAAsty!" (But still very funny!)

Lips of Passion said...

Acceptance is what it's all about...initially when I read this I was thinking Ewwwwww!!!! as my read went on and I saw how calm you obviously were about it I then thought "this is what marriage is all about." Not many women would stay with a man that did something so silly and gross if I might add, but you accepted that as his twisted sick dirty and funky way of a sick sense of humor...lol. Acceptance and unity is what its all about. By the way thanks for you comment to my blogs and I look forward to reading more of your life on here.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Being nasty is out of character for Papi, but not for me. If he can tolerate years of my flagrant gas, and sniffing my underwear to make sure its clean, than I can allow him some yucky indulgences too.