I wanted to blog about President Bush selling out our National Security once again, this time to the Chinese, but it's just too distressing for me. Surely, today's entry will still ruffle some feathers though.
Top 40 musicians or bands that have made it big and achieved stardom and opulent fortunes but I've never liked even one of their songs.
1. The Smashing Pumpkins- There is just something so unsettling about Billy Corgan's voice. No tears in my root beer when they dismantled the group.
2. Aerosmith- A 30 year career, and I hate every single one of their songs. Unfortunately, you can't escape them because they have airplay on the oldies station, top 40 hits, classic rock, lite rock, and adult alternative stations. It's futile pushing your car radio buttons because inevitably it all leads back to Aerosmith.
3. Bon Jovi- I think they suck. Even in their heyday I didn't get what all the hoopla was about. When my XM radio displays the name 'Bon Jovi', I will risk certain death while driving to change it immediately.
4. Green Day- See Aerosmith above. They are crappy and inescapable, not a pleasant combination. I also detest the smirkiness and lame political opinions of Billy Joe whatever. I have to admit though that DOOKIE is my all time favorite title for a CD.
5. Five For Fighting- Someone needs to give this man a testicle transplant and testosterone therapy, STAT. John Ondrasik's high pitched falsetto is jarring and his lyrics unintelligible. His voice literally creeps me out and reminds me of the teacher on Charlie Brown. Oh yeah, and all the songs sound identical to each other.
6. Gwen Stefani- Okay, I did like Hellagood with her band, No Doubt, but as a soloist she's managed to bastardize a selection from my favorite musical, exploit Japanese culture, and cavort around shamelessly like a teenager. (Gwen is 37) I loathe her music and her fashion monstrosities equally, now that s**t really is bananas.
Honorable Mention:Jack Johnson, The Rolling Stones, Bob Dylan, Bruce Springsteen, Coldplay, and John Mayer (there should be a maximum quota placed on mealy-mouthed male singers. If I never hear his wretched song, "Daughters", again for the rest of my life, it will be too soon)
More than likely there are still a few acts that I've neglected to mention, but this is the list that I feel white hot loathing towards. Anybody care to add to my list or defend one of the above mentioned artists?
I wanted to add a few more:
Melissa Etheridge- No, it has nothing to do with her sexuality, I just hate her music.
Sheryl Crow- 10 years and still waiting for at least one song that I can tolerate. What made her a star? Kevin Gilbert, that's who. After making it big off his back and the backs of the Tuesday Night Music Club, she cast them off and refused to give them any credit and reneged on her promises to take them on tour with her. That's gratitude for you.
Foo Fighters- I liked Dave Grohl in his Nirvana days, Foo Fighters are lackluster, bland, and overplayed.
CREED- How did I forget to add CREED? Upon first listening to them I regarded them as a minor annoyance but then thanks to media hype they became huge and unavoidable. You practically need a linguistics expert to decipher what mumbly, bad boy alcoholic Scott Stapp is singing. He needs radical treatment at the Eliza Doolittle School Of Enunciation A.S.A.P. Anyone notice that their songs are overly repetitious?
17 comments:
I have to disagree with your assessment of Green Day and The Smashing Pumpkins (Please listen to TSP '1979' and GD 'Holiday') all the rest I'm right there with you - with the wholehearted addition of Nora Jones. Is it just me or does her CD contain only the one song continually looped?
Don't you feel creeped out by John Mayer's mouth?
John Mayer is brokeback on acid. I think it's funny you can the Pumpkins, yet like...pink floyd rip-offs, such as...Queersryche! Hahahahhahah...All 94.5 buzz bands suck, green day sucks exponentially; Actually, I agree w/you on the Pumpkins breaking up because BC's ego inflated and they lost their sound. They sounded like everyone else. Adore was their last good album. But take Gish and Siamese Dream, kablam! They rock. Kerri, 1979 was not even that good of a song. Listen to starla or the 8 minute version of drown...You know who sucks really really hard is Death Cab For Cutie and their side band, whoever they're called (When souls become shadows...?) Brokeback revisited...They suck like the mother of all black holes...
Infidel, I agree with all your assesments. Five for Fighting only has one song I'm familiar with and it's okay with me because I only hear it on a tv commercial for some financial services. Being the sentimental fool I know I always shall be, it tugs at my heart. One song; don't think I could tolerate every song on a c.d. with that sound. Aerosmith, especially, needs to give it up. They seemed old when I was a kid. Bon Jovi and Smashing Pumpkins, I was probably too busy with life to ever pay much attention. Gwen Stefani, I'm not a huge fan but do applaud her athletic ability. Seriously. She is non-stop on stage. Which probably means she will look great after having her baby. I can't say the same for myself.
As for kerri defending Green Day (blecch), I refer her to my thoughts on that Billy Joe guy, presented in my personal photoshop rendering: Le Miserable! The likeness is uncanny.
By the way, I also am ticked about again selling out our national security. I have been to Freeport, where I read they're supposedly checking before cargo enters the U.S. I found (in the 80's) the place to be corrupt. We had cops trying to sell us drugs on the street (no, I didn't/don't use drugs, so no sale). A man was in the women's bathroom of the casino peddling cocaine. Not a place I'd be eager to revisit.
It sounds commonplace to have other countries control all of this shipping, but I still am leery. The guy who runs that "respected" Chinese company has tight ties to the communists.... another story for another post. I will shut up!
kerri, so I see that you're an XM fanatic too. I like Lucy, Ethel, and occasionally XM Cafe along with the 80's and 90's stations. I can tolerate Norah Jones in very small doses, too much would induce chronic narcolepsy. Initially, John Mayer was listenable but then I noticed his increasingly vague singing like he had a mouth full of crap, er make that marshmallows(just more family friendly). I nominate 'Daughters' for worst song of the past ten years.
watch your tongue patrick, or you shall sample my blade. I still like Queensryche, much more thoughtful than your average rock/metal band. We borrowed Death Cab For Cutie's CD, Plans, from miss biotech and can't stop listening to it. Wonderful, and Ben Gibbard gives me goosebumps with his voice. When Soul Meets Body is my current favorite song.
Yeah wendela, Li Ka-Shing was denied permission to purchase Global Crossing because of security reasons(he's thick as thieves with the Chinese Army and government), but now all of a sudden we turn nuke scans of incoming ships over to him? What??? I rue the day that I voted for Bush, it's disappointment at every turn.
Add Nirvana to the major annoyance list. Around here, they play them ALL THE TIME. And Foo Fighters, too- agreed: way overplayed. Sorry, but Death Cab's gettin' way overplayed, too. As is/was Postal Service. I am afraid to like any bands any more because overplay ruins it all. I'm guessing She Wants Revenge will be next. Fleetwood Mac- "Dreams". Arrrggghh! (running and screaming). The Doors, too. Although I noticed way back when they never played "Soul Kitchen" much 'til the band X made it popular around '80. Radio is pretty bad in L.A., actually. Maybe I will look into that satellite radio.
Would that be the 'gay' blade? Hahahhahahahahhahahhahahahahha....I asked my wife the name of that song she was playing and it's called When we become sillouettes or something like that. I heard it from the other room and it sounded like "When I get my spidey sense". Are they the new Erasure?
patrick, I revised my list again. The longer time passes the more I think of bands to add to my ever growing collective of intolerance.
I don't care for She Wants Revenge. Neither Franz Ferdinand Fall Out Boy, or All American Rejects, and whatever other new band the industry will try to hype to death. You're right wendela, overplay kills a good thing. While I still enjoy Fleetwood Mac, Dreams should be pulled from all rotation for a couple years. Absence does make the heart grow fonder.
John Meyer's daughter song is AWFUL. I loathe it. Makes me feel like he's scolding me. blech, ick, boo.
I love Melissa Ethridge however. And Sheryl Crow. I was jealous of John Bonjovi's hair back in the day. Now I just can't stop staring at his capped teeth. Gwen is fun for dancing. I like her. But Green Day! I saw them in concert and one of them played naked (with guitar placed over the front bits). A man with a butt such as he had, well, it needed to stay covered. Thankfully it at least distracted me enough from the racket that was their "music". Note to self to not accept every free ticket that comes my way! ;P
Add ashlee simpson girl...do you think Mormons drinking beer means Mormons going to hell? I've let go of the rod ina way of speaking...my fingers lost the grasp in a slippery spot and the fog of Satan blocked my view...
I think Mormons go to Hell for enjoying The Smashing Pumpkins and ridiculing Queensryche and mutilating their band name. Sounds like someone has major repentance requirements to fulfill!
I can't include Ashlee Simpson because her song Boyfriend is a guilty pleasure of mine. Now you know the wicked truth Patrick, I'm not perfect like you once thought me to be. On the other hand though, I can make it up to you at your party next week. I'll bring an Ashlee CD to spice up the festivities.
OASIS, I completely neglected to add Oasis. Thankfully, the Brothers Gallagher have drunken themselves into a silent stupor and I haven't heard any new Oasis stuff in awhile. The war between Blur and Oasis? Blur morphed into Gorillaz and has won the long haul.
patrick, I'm the wrong person to ask about sin, because I have the tendency to rationalize and justify my own sin. Due to my biased nature, I'm inclined to tell you that in the big scheme of things, beer doesn't matter. Although it might set a bad precedent for your kids to have two differing messages being taught to them. One at Church and one at home.
I absolutely love Oasis! What the fudge do you have against the best band in the world?
I'm kind of hypocritical wherein I only partook of the reeb when the kids were in bed....
I don't like Noel and Liam's singing voices and their songs seem to stretch on way too long. Just very mundane in my opinion.
Mormon Hypocrites UNITE! You ain't alone brother.
I completely agree with you on Creed, but how can ashlee simpson be better than the foo fighters? At least they have some sort of musical talent to account for their success, such as playing instruments well, and singing live... A comedian named Christian Finnegan, while discussing voting rights in the US, said "We already tell convicted felons they can't vote, so why don't we just extend it, like if you own an Ashlee Simpson album, you cannot vote." Truer words have not been spoken.sorry!
Nah suchie, I only like ONE song by Ashlee Simpson. That doesn't render me evil incarnate you know. As for the Foo Fighters, well my entry was devoted to top 40 artists that have had a long career and I haven't taken a liking to any of their music. That leaves Ashlee out.
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