Thursday, April 20, 2006

Our DSL Line Is Gone With The Wind

As God As My Witness I Will Return To BLOG Again!

If any of you respond by saying, "Frankly, my dear Infidel, I don't give a damn", I shall curl into a tiny fetal positioned ball and sob.


The Time Warner guys PROMISED to come to our house yesterday and make everything all better. They're big poopy headed liars. So now they tell us that they'll definitely make it out today to fix our Internet line. They obviously don't understand the extent of my addiction and the severe blogging withdrawal I'm currently experiencing including double vision, anxious typing fingers, and explosive diarrhea. Okay, so maybe not everything is caused by lack of Internet. A woman of my stature and affluence shouldn't have to use germy public Library computers. Don't they know who I am? I'm the fourth best newspaper carrier out of the entire Northwest Houston District. I also won the school Spelling Bee two years in a row. Add to that my Chicken Dancing Championship ring, and you can see that heads are going to roll over this inconvenience. I'm not afraid to wield my power and position around to get results.

Anyway, meet me here tomorrow. Same Infidel time, same Infidel place.

9 comments:

Mimo said...

I've missed you! I hope those poopy heads get their acts together and fix you up real good this time. Otherwise let me know and I'll open a can of whoop-you-know-what on them :) My fil's brother is Time Warner's executive VP at the moment :) (dropping names can be fun sometimes, hahaha)

Pisces Iscariot said...

It could be worse - you could be using New Zealand's 'High Speed Internet'. Don't get me started!

Gia said...

I was wondering what happened. You must have such withdrawl! Come back to us soooooon!

Radioactive Jam said...

Ever see the commercial (Direct-TV maybe) where this lady gives the just-finished installer an extended hug, while her husband stands beside them? Finally she lets him go, then the *husband* starts hugging him?

Don't do something like that. They might not like it.

wendela said...

Your little voodoo stuff should work just dandy on that guy. Libraries are no place to use computers (at least around here- you can't access many things, yukko dirty keyboards and there's an itty-bitty time limit and a long waiting list). Hurry back!!

Moi said...

Shoot, the bloggers are dropping like flies! I'm going to call them up if they don't fix it for you, because, *spoken in a Miss Piggy Voice* I cannot live without daily bits of inspiration from vu.

Pisces Iscariot said...

Respec' Elastic!
Do you realise that you've got 29 comments on your last post?
(okay okay so 10 are from you but who's counting:-))
I have decided to nominate you as Agony Aunt for this little group of commenters. And in view of this I will be the first to consult.
Dear agon-e-aunt
Please could you tell me how far back in a blog it is acceptable to make comments.
I find myself commenting on archived posts dating sometimes as far back as December 2004.
What does e-Tiquette demand of me in this situation? Should I desist in the knowledge that I'm talking to myself, or should everybody diligently check there archives for random comments from a madman?

Radioactive Jam said...

Starting to feel jittery here...

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Strange things are afoot. The repair guy never showed up but a Time Warner operative crew was sighted down the street in their van. So, the Internet worked perfectly for 20 minutes, then it went down again. It seems to be running today but horribly slow.

Thank you for all your love and support through this crisis.

mimo, glad to know that I have friends with friends in high places. Let's see Garth record that version.

gia pet, I want to pimp your new movie here as soon as you have a link if that's okay with you.

radioactive, I would tango or even chicken dance with the repair guy if I thought it would help speed the process of reconnection.

wendela, we actually have very nice Library facilities but yes short time limits for computer usage. I bring Purell hand sanitizer with me everywhere I go, along with a clove of garlic, and a crucifix because you should always be prepared and protected.

carrot, whose VU? Refer me, I need inspiration too.

Pisces, I went back and counted, and I only posted NINE times. That's mainly due to my inability to keep comments and opinions and conjecture to myself. Very poor blog self-restraint. Speaking of which, I comment wherever it strikes my fancy, as you well know, with interesting consequences. Typically I'm usually on the dark side of etiquette dictates though.