Saturday, April 15, 2006

The Smiling Infidel Goes Hip Hop!


My Namesake. A lovely toilet paper holder.

There's something about me that I haven't revealed to anyone outside of my immediate family. Last week whilst walking stark naked to the shower Papi spotted a long piece of toilet paper lodged firmly into my butt crevice and trailing behind me. He doubled over in laughter and christened me with a new nickname just in time for the Easter holiday, 'Cottontail'.

I guess having an improvised cottontail does correlate to my phenomenal talent as the local champion Bunny Hop dancer. My prancing and hopping makes even Arthur Murray instructors weep with envy! Due to unforeseen visual impairments and being taunted with unflattering comparisons to FLOPSY RABBIT, I've learned to wear a snug fitting sports bra while performing my dazzling bunny maneuvers. Yes, even in a sunshine filled life like mine some rain must fall occasionally. Prior to this unfortunate toilet paper incident I had always pictured myself as a vision of rock n roll coolness like Jefferson Starship's White Rabbit when I danced. I guess embodying the spirit and fluffiness of Peter Cottontail hopping down the bunny trail will just have to suffice. *sigh*

Wishing everybody a Happy Easter full of solid chocolate bunnies not cheap hollow ones!!!


7 comments:

Mimo- JenK said...

Happy Easter to you too, Cottontail!

wendela said...

To Mrs. Cottontail, Papi and your great band of mini-infidels, have a wonderful Easter. :)

Sister Pottymouth said...

Happy trails...of toilet paper!

Suzie Petunia said...

Not only was mine hollow... it was also SUGAR FREE! Blah! Happy Easter anyway!

White Man Retarded said...

I think there is a relation between butt-wiping and your calling it hip-hop. I hate hip hop. Hate it hate it hate it. The culture, the stupidity, the elevating of stupidity, ugh...I'd rather see...Celine Dione. Wait, no I wouldn't. I hate Celine Dione. Hate her hate her hate her. Her screeching wail, her weird costumes, ugh. Die, Celine, in a hip hop way. Get gakked...

White Man Retarded said...

Oh yeah, happy Easter.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

We are experiencing some really irritating Internet problems in this area due to neighborhood construction. Intermittently it just shuts down completely. The access has been so unbelievably slow that I haven't even had the patience to wait so I could fix the errors in my last post. Just to load this comments page took over 3 minutes. I still love every last single one of you and will post comments as soon as humanly possible.

By the way, we had a great Easter. Any holiday is a success in my opinion when we don't have to schlep over to anyones house and be on our 'best behavior'. I cooked a feast! Glazed, spiraled ham, fresh asparagus with mushrooms, dilled red potatoes, homemade stuffing, organic wheat dinner rolls. Good Stuff! We never celebrate Easter from a secular standpoint so we didn't buy any baskets or Easter eggs. However, as per tradition we celebrate the day after a holiday when all candy is at least 50% off. Half priced Reese's peanut butter eggs, now that's spiritually uplifting!