Friday, June 23, 2006

It's A Dog Eat Dog World Out There

My kids and I noticed the brightly colored display at Kroger's immediately upon walking into the store. A gargantuan mountain of dog food bags, stacked up 7 feet high, with signs proclaiming its new product status and the advertised special of the week. We just watched, "Old Yeller", together as a family a few months ago, and so they recognized the beloved yellow dog featured on the bag. While moving past the display, I couldn't help but comment to my kids using my very best radio announcer voice, "Try new Old Yeller dog food today, with 100% genuine chunks and bits of Old Yeller in every bite! Your pet will love it". My boys laughed, the girls looked at me with sour expressions of "EEEEEEWWWWWW, Mom. That's so gross".

It got me thinking though,why in the World would the manufacturers choose Old Yeller as their icon and product name? As I recall, the movie took a tragic twist upon Old Yeller contracting rabies, and then his foaming mad self is shot down in self-defense by his Master. Yeah. "Let your dogs grow up to be strong and healthy, just like Old Yeller, by feeding them Old Yeller dog food. Now available at fine retail outlets everywhere".

They should have chosen Beethoven as their mascot because Lord knows, nobody wants to sit through another one of those awful sequels. Just how many Beethoven movies does the World need? Apparently, film producers are determined to see. Plus, I recently learned that not all dog meat is created equal. The Japanese regard Saint Bernard meat as a highly prized culinary delight. Perhaps, Americans get the Old Yeller brand, but they've marketed it in Japan as Beethoven dog food. Reportedly, Spuds Mackenzie was a contender too. However, during product testing, the dogs kept falling over drunk.

Whatever, as a nod to my first blogging buddy, Mormon Family Man, who broached a similar subject, I have to say that we only buy the very best for our dog, Reagan. After all, he IS our fresh meat food storage plan.


Moi said...

Recycling is good! For other people.

jams o donnell said...

Ah why does this slogan from outside a late 70's butcher spring to mind:

Watership Down - you seen the flim, you've read the book. Now eat the cast

wendela said...

Yeah, what a stupid thing to call dog food: Old Yeller. Well, I guess many euthanized pets go to the rendering plant. Then to the pet food or bone meal for the garden. I can't think of this any more. I'm a wimp!!! And I love my dog. I won't eat her, honestly. I did (truthfully) see some Koreans at the animal shelter picking out certain dogs, though. Asked an acquaintance from Korea if that's true they eat 'em. Yep, they love the big black dogs. So keep 'em in if you have a Korean BBQ restaurant near. ICK!!!

Theoretical Grammatarian said...

Hm, makes me wonder if Cujo Chow were already taken.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Recycling is good, carrot, with the possible exception of recycled toilet paper.

Jams, you HAVE to know that your comment made me laugh and snort in a most unladylike manner. I think it goes a long way in explaining my rapt attention during Babe:Pig In The City, though, and my craving for a bag of salty pork rinds.

I knew that about rendered animals, wendela, that's why we buy Nutro Max for Reagan. The main ingredient is cornmeal and it's chock full of vegetarian goodness. The dog eats better than we do. My Uncle was stationed in Korea for many years and has married two different Korean brides and sho nuff, yep, they really do eat dogs over there. I'm going to look for the link, but I found some amazing Japanese ice cream flavors. Yumminess like whale blubber, horse meat, and wasabi. From there, I found the article about how much they love Saint Bernards, and not for their domesticated, cuddly ways, and lifesaver status either. They're willing to pay top dollar for the meat. Yuck!

Theo! It's been awhile. I'm laughing at the thought of Cujo Chow and their spokesman, Steven King, announcing, "Buy it today. Your dog will go crazy for it".

Theoretical Grammatarian said...

I've been MIA from Blogger for ages, so I'm catching up, and I have to say that, while your cage dancer reply was comedy gold, part of me wishes you'd gone with "late shift door-to-door sausage saleswoman."
I'm thinking that Cujo Chow would have an easy time with commercials, just use footage from the movie with the bag of kibble CGId into the car with the mom and kid! I think it'd be perfect with Mr. King's voice-over!

White Man Retarded said...

When I was in Korea, I learned their taste for dog food came about because when the Japs invaded, the Koreans began to starve. So, what do you eat? Dog. and rats. It's just another example of sociocultural shifts brought on by war. War. Good for people. Good for dogs.

Stu said...

Your best line was "Your dogs will go craaaaazy for it"... Hilarious.

I'm glad I blogged about this, as your comment led me to your blog. I read your Old Yeller post (and the comments) to my wife and we had a good laugh.

My wife's joke was: "What's next? Vincent Van Gogh's Earwax Removal System? When you open the box, there's no flushing bulb or liquid, just a sharp knife!"...

jams o donnell said...

LOL Stu, perhaps then you can open Donner's Kabobs or teh Alfred Packer Grill.

being a vegetarian I look on such humanitarians with intense worry!

Radioactive Jam said...

Probably some marketing management dweeb got a bonus for coming up with "Old Yeller." And the lower-level staffer who submitted it as a sick joke? First to be downsized when the campaign bombs.

Pardon my cynicism but - yeah. Beyond dumb and well into the surreal zone.

I do like your food storage plan though. Reminds me of a Far Side cartoon with shipwreck survivors in a lifeboat. They'd drawn straws with the loser to go overboard; one person was telling another - the short-straw loser - how it was all fair and square. One of the "winners" holding a longer straw was a dog.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

I found another blog about Old Yeller dog food too. I think this product has touched a nerve with people. My favorite ideas to follow in the footsteps of Old Yeller?

Little Mermaid Fish Sticks
Snow White Apple Pie
Babe Brand Pork Rinds (that's mine)
Bambi Venison Sausage

Oh, the possibilities!

Stu said...

Shrek's Green Pea Soup
Pinocchio's Safety Matches
Nemo's Fresh Sushi Rolls

and one for DreamWorks:

Don Lino's Shark Fin Soup