Thursday, June 29, 2006

Picked A Peck Of Purple Perfection

We've gone two Saturday's in a row up to a farm about 30 minutes from our house to pick blueberries. This farm offers organic, pesticide free berries for 2 bucks a pound. Anyone who buys blueberries at the grocery store knows what a huge savings that is. As an added bonus, they happen to be the most succulent sweet blueberries I've ever eaten; even without sugar.

The first week, we took Miss Biotech Goddess along for the adventure. We had one hour before torrential rainstorms completely engulfed our area, and we rose to the challenge nicely. Here's the final equation:
1 Smiling Infidel + 1 Bulgarian Chick + 6 Infidel Spawn + One Hour Of Picking=14 1/2 pounds of blueberries!
Holy cow, we rock!

So, last Saturday, thinking that we would duplicate our former plucking glory, we returned to the farm. The equation looked much different:
1 Pissy Mom + 6 Whiny Kids + 2 Hornet Stings + 1 Blazing Hot Sun + 3 Hours Of Picking= 13 pounds of hard won blueberries.
Maybe, adding one Bulgarian Chick is the secret ingredient?

Day after day, I tell my kids, "Stop picking at your food", "Quit picking at your brothers and sisters", "Can you please stop picking your nose?", "Don't pick at that; you'll get a scar". They rarely listen, and usually continue picking anyway. Finally, they were able to put all those picking skills to work for a good cause. I AM impressed at their diligence, but after all, practice does make perfect.


jams o donnell said...

Looks like an excellent haul. Blueberries cost a fortune here but we now have a blueberry bushes and the oldest one will provide a modest crop this year.

I love bluberries. I could eat them by the metric ton!

elasticwaistbandlady said...

My toddlers were eating them as fast as we picked them last Saturday, which may explain our relatively small bounty.

So far this week I've made blueberry pancakes, muffins (twice), blueberry-peach cobbler, and I'm going to make blueberry-lemon cream cheese bars for dessert. Not to mention all the berries eaten on top of cereal and yogurt.

Do you think blue poop is normal or should I consult a physician?

mullet said...

Pick pick pick is the 1 thing that I hate about being a parent! Picking on them for picking on son told me to take my teeth out to end the nagging!

omar said...

I also find that when I add a Bulgarian chick to the equation, my success rate increases.


So far this week I've made blueberry pancakes, muffins (twice), blueberry-peach cobbler, and I'm going to make blueberry-lemon cream cheese bars for dessert.

I'll be over tomorrow.

wendela said...

I want some!! LOVE blueberries. Can't grow good ones here (unless someone in this region knows of a variety that'll do well). MMMMM blueberry lemon cream cheese bars. I'll be over. (Hey, try using a paste of Accent meat tenderizer and water on the hornet/bee stings. Works every time to make 'em go down and not hurt so much.)

Bulgarian chick must have made infidel spawn in a better mood- make sure she's along next time!

Syar said...

I've never seen blueberries here in their natural form.

I think that's sadder than blue poop.

Elizabeth-W said...

Oooh I'm jealous. We used to pick them in OR but they don't grow here. I like them frozen, in smoothies. I also have a recipe for a pumkin and blueberry pound cake, and a lemon-blueberry pound cake if you're interested.
The blue poop thing makes me laugh. I took the girls to tcby and they got neon rainbow something. The next day my two year old pooped bright green, and my mom nearly had a heart attack, called me at my office wondering if she'd been eating crayons or something.

cadiz12 said...

blue poop aside, i think the alleged improved eyesight it worth all the hard work.

White Man Retarded said...

Where do you go? We go to a place on 1314 called something-farms.

Moi said...

At least you went with your children. My mom used to drop us off in the strawberry field, and not pick us up until we had picked 4 flats a piece. I have issues now. I will never take my kids to a field to pick anything. I'll just send them out the front door to pick the berries. At least then, I can watche them from the door.

Julie said...

I want blue poo too! It would be great for making up your own game of Blue's Clues. (Hmmm, this brings a whole new aspect to the show that I never considered.)

At least you're kids aren't picking a peck of purple poo from their buttocks.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Wow, a mullet and false teeth? Tell me that you also have a Journey concert tank top to make the imagery complete.

Bulgarian Chicks Rule! This song by Balkan Beat Box is the shiz, Omar. As the Black Eyed Peas would say, "Check It Out"!

I'm not even pretending that I know how to link anymore. (We saved some blueberry booty just for you, Omar)

wendela, Only my oldest, Sunbum suffered stings. In retrospect wearing a tie-dye shirt probably wasn't such a good idea. We have broken one of Hints From Heloise's commandments about stinging insects. She says to wear muted colors and to bathe because stinky sweat angers bees and wasps. I'll tuck your helpful advice into the annals of my mind though for future reference.

Patrick, it's a place in Hockley called Chmilewski's or something Czech sounding like that. You guys probably go to Moorehead's which is a favorite of a lot of the homeschooling families.

Welcome cadiz. Poop talk is always a nice intro. for new guests here.

I'm sorry carrot for dredging up painful picking memories.

Alright elizabeth and julie, I inadvertently made my Mom hang up on me TWICE last week. I heard this comedian on XM radio that sounded just like family friendly, Jeff Foxworthy. It wasn't. He was talking about buying an unwrapped Snickers bar from the bathroom attendant at a honky tonk bar. Then he says, "HEY! I didn't know that Snickers had corn in it".

Grossest poo joke I've heard in awhile. If you hear the name, Rodney Carrington, look out!

Radioactive Jam said...

Gaah! Eating a Snickers bar will never be the same. Why couldn't he have used a Baby Ruth instead? I don't like them so it wouldn't matter!

zingtrial said...

I love blueberries,Hmmmmm
lucky you
Wish you all well

emma jo said...

I'm so hiring out your children the next time we go. My little ones were near worthless. One hour yielded four pounds--and that was the second time we went and had practiced! My sis and I decided that if our families only ate what we had to pick we were starve the first day...too bad for my family, cause I really like them.

christo said...

Blueberries are just awesome. The thing is, like how Syar so eloquently put it, we get to see blue poop versions.

Even if we do see actual blueberries, they would cost a bomb. A tasty and ooo so good bomb.

Miss Biotech said...

I see how it is.... a conspiracy....

First, thanks for referring to me as a Bulgarian chick, for I will always be one, no matter how long I have lived in the great state of Texas.

Second - ha-ha. Were you guys eating faster than picking the blueberries?!?

Third - I have been eating blueberries in oatmeal trying to be health-conscious and health-wise while the Infidel household has been enjoying "...blueberry pancakes, muffins (twice), blueberry-peach cobbler...". Now how unfair is that!? I have been waiting for an invitation for 2 whole weeks to partake from this blueberry goodness. Take heed Infidel, and send over a pie or two....
P.S. Sorry to hear about the hornet stings. Who was the victim?

Miss Biotech said...

Nevermind. I just read that it was poor Sunbum. Like I said, it seems like a conspiracy - the bees went after one of the most efficient blueberry pickers to stymie y'all's picking progress.
Take-home message: never go against what Heloise sais, or you'll suffer stupefying malaise...

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Phrase of the day: Stupefying malaise.
Thanks for that miss biotech;you shall be rewarded with a blueberry muffin.

emma jo, We were non-chalantly picking blueberries and I yelled at my kids for something or other, when all of a sudden I heard a voice from beyond......the bushes, that is. Melissa? Melissa, is that you? I'd recognize that voice anywhere. Yes, it was your father-in-law with your adorable little girls right behind him. I brushed him off because I thought he was trying to horn in on our newly found, fully blueberry laden bush. We're really competitive pickers, emma.

Welcome christo! Isn't blueberry flavored ICEE slushes and blueberry scented shampoos a fair substitute?

Baby Ruth bars cannot be made the target of poop jokes raj, because of its beloved namesake.

RC said...

yummy...i want some blueberries.

i'm on a total blueberry kick these days.

blueberry cake, blueberry pancakes, blueberries by themselves, blueberries on the brain.

yummy! and i've just been buying frozen.

--RC of