Friday, June 02, 2006

What's The Difference?



Yesterday proved to hold a myriad of priceless blog gems supplied by the befuddled confusement of my eldest daughter, Sunbum.

So, as we traveled down the road towards yet another plant stop at Home Depot, something reminded me of Ozzy Osbourne and I began to tell her of all his frenzied exploits back in the day, including ruthlessly decapitating bats and doves before live concert audiences. Sunbum turned to me aghast and asked, "WHAT??!!?? He did all that? But I thought he was a sweet Mormon guy". Apparently, she thought of Donny Osmond, not Ozzy Osbourne. Well, after all, they ARE both family guys involved in music, but the comparison made me laugh.

There's a new store at the mall called, Forever XXI. From the outside it appears to be your one stop shop for underage streetwalker gear, not my kind of establishment at all. We've never been inside, but when we passed it yesterday Sunbum got all excited and begged me to go in. Sunbum is a pudgy 11 year old girl who comes from a family so obsessed with modest dress that she doesn't even wear sleeveless shirts. Naturally, I was curious as to why she would want to go into such a store. Then she said it, "But Mom! It's got a double XX in the name, that means it's for plus size women". (Scary sidenote:An 11 year old girl at Church talks about her clothing from this place all the time)

Finally, while swimming at the neighborhood pool last night, Sunbum and I discussed the lady water aerobics class that my Mom goes to at the YMCA. I likened them to "Old Mermaids". Sunbum got upset and said that old mermaids are slow swimmers and consequently they always get trapped in tuna nets and then processed into cans. I may never eat a tuna sandwich again.

10 comments:

wendela said...

(Gosh, how I can't wait for the dsl to work here in the new place. This dial-up's a huge slooow hassle. Taken 7 tries so far to post a comment.)

Your daughter's priceless. :) How funny she thought Ozzy was a Mormon guy. My dad a few years back went to Ozzfest out here in CA and my mom thought he was going to something Aussie as in Australian festival, not Ozzy. That's another story....Well, one day I was pondering the fact (?) of Jimmy Page from Led Zeppelin and Wayne Osmond being related, from pictures I found.

Oh, how I remember the "other girls" being allowed clothes from "those stores" and my girls thinking it was so bad. Umm, then they became teens....

I wonder what the heck made her think mermaids are in tuna cans. The Chicken of the Sea logo?? Or has she been hanging out with Jessica Simpson?

Radioactive Jam said...

Old mermaids never die, they just get canned?

Moi said...

Now I'll be scouring the internet for stores that feature XXX in the title. All this time I thought I only had Layne Bryant to chose clothes from.

Mimo said...

Sunbum is a funny girl. She must keep you in stitches.
Too bad the XX didn't mean Xtra large. Why would anyone buy clothes for an 11 year old (the other mom, not you) from that store? Scary. I don't want my 11 year old son seeing girls his age in that kind of stuff. So sad parents don't keep their kids little for very long.
And on a side note: So THAT explains the grey hair in my tuna sandwich the other day. I thought I was just needing a little Clariol.

MyRiseAbove said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog.

:-)

elasticwaistbandlady said...

wendela, That Page/Osmond comparison was uncanny and scary at the same time. Maybe we do all have doppelgangers running around somewhere. Thanks for your comment perseverance, a smiley for your troubles ma'am :-)

radioactive, Sunbum's using logical reasoning skills. Old mermaids are probably less adept at maneuvering around tuna nets as their younger counterparts. Poor Ariel. Mermaids in a can certainly isn't a Disney style finish.....

Carrot, I hate to be the voice of caution but googling XXX stores will likely land you on some questionable sites with a decided lack of showcased clothing.

mimo, You know what's in your tuna now if it has a decided hint of "Ben Gay" flavor to it.

jams o donnell said...

Donny, had two number ones here, the Osmonds one,while Little Jimmy Osmond topped the charts with Long Haired Lover from Liverpool! Oh the Humanity!

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Once again, proof that the British aren't all that "culturally superior" to us as they would have us think.

Syar said...

wow I've missed a lot. you're talking about forever 21? because we have a store here that just opened and (sadly, I must admit) my friends and I have been talking about it a lot. this coming from an 18 year old who thinks she's pudgy. you shouldn't be surprised. no really, you shouldn't.

the donny osmond/ozzy osbourne mixup is hilarious though. ozzy = mormon? that's wrong on so many levels

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Well syar, there IS a BIG difference between 11 and 18 year old girls. However, Sunbum is very modest in her dress and feels uncomfortable in anything too tight, short, etc.

In retrospect, I'm thinking of the prominent OZ sound in both Osmond and Osbourne. I think that's where she went astray. Now, if they announced a World Tour together, I'm so there.