Sunday, August 27, 2006

Let Me Hear You Say This......

Sock Is Bananas
B-A-N-A-N-A-S
BANANAS
This Sock Is Bananas!
B-A-N-A-N-A-S

Envy is one of the Seven Deadly Sins written about by everybody from Chaucer to Pope Gregory XIII to the screenwriters of the gruesome crime film, "Seven". I couldn't eat spaghetti for months after watching this movie. Do you hear me? Months! Envy corrupts your mortal soul and affects not only your salvation but also how you live your life and deal with your fellow man on a daily basis.

As such, I'm calling out my blogger feiend, Radioactive Jam, as a sinner, because he will soon feel the pain of extreme sock envy. RAJ thinks he's cornered the market on goofy monkey socks. Au contraire, mon frere! Monkey see, monkey do. My Monkey socks are better. WOO HOO!

I have a matched set that not only features an amusing monkey face but also has a cascading series of appealing, golden-ripe bananas, and profound life altering words printed along the bottom. I envision it as advice Gwen Stefani herself would issue if she ever became a self-help guru. "Just GO BANANAS, my child, and set yourself free".

Notice, that unlike Radioactive Jam who refused to allow his foot to be photographed for our entertainment purposes, I, The Smiling Infidel, have no such qualms. In fact, I once enjoyed a lucrative career as a monkey sock supermodel until a tragic mishap with some confused simians at the King Kong disco afterparty cut my promising future short. We all know very well how revolting GORILLA FINGERS can be.

So, how bout them nanas, Raj? Think you can outmonkey a monkey? Think we can literally go toe to toe in monkey sock competition? I bet you don't have the bananas to even try. I have three words for you.......BRING IT ON!

14 comments:

the flying monkeys said...

A Gorilla Fart? Wouldn't that be
blasphemy in the synagogue of the smiling infidel? I think radioactive's sock is much better than yours elastic...and I say that at the risk of getting a sock shock

Hey come on out Radioactive Jam

christo said...

I've been wearing the same pair of socks for the past week or so.

They do not smell like bananas.

omar said...

When I get beyond how upset I am with you for getting that song stuck in my head, I'll stop back over to comment about the sock.

Radioactive Jam said...

Sorry... is that a monkey? I thought it was a cat.

Ha. You think you've seen confused simians? I'll show you conf-- what? Socks? This is about socks?! Ah... okay...

You want toe to toe my feiend, you'll get toe to toe. A warning, though: just remember how well the words TOE and JAM go together! Yeah!

Erm. Wait, no, that's not--
*sigh*

Fine. I'm in.

Julie said...

Brave woman to post pics of your feet. I don't like my feet. I have cankles.

jams o donnell said...

What on earth are gorilla fingers? I fear I will regret asking this!

the flying monkeys said...

Honeybee, in that pic looks like a naked banana and pair of wet socks. Would it be possible to have a closer look? Cos if its feet, it would be impossible to beat. According to this recipe dipping in salad or pie is permissible.

Moi said...

Tell me those are not your socks. please. Tell me now. I always pictured you as more of a barefoot person. I'm disillusioned now. I can't even spell right.

RC said...

how funny...

my mom has a paper of monkey socks she wears sometimes...

they're a little more subtle, and not nearly as cool.

--RC of strangeculture.blogspot.com

elasticwaistbandlady said...

That's okay christo because you're like a Malaysian Sox God, and traditional rules of cleanliness don't apply to you.

Don't lie omar, you know you're all about the Hollaback!

Raj, I now realize the error of my ways in spelling, "simian" as "symian". Fine. You've won this battle raj, but the war is FAR from over, my monkey socked friend........

Julie, I told you that I'm a former monkey sock supermodel. As such I have the sexiest ankles and the 4H County Fair Blue Ribbon to prove it. Sadly, the rest of me is
hideous.

Gorilla Fingers? You mean a refined English Gent such as yourself doesn't know what gorilla fingers are, jams? I have it linked to the incomparable Urban Dictionary on the entry.

Funny you say that carrot, because I am always barefoot and usually pregnant too. I only wear socks in the Winter and in heated competition against other Bloggers. In fact, I don't even own a pair of pantyhose and I go to Church in my sandals.

RC, I'm going to send a pair up to Dallas and we can make tandem monkey sock appearances together all over Texas. The Monkey Sock World Tour 2006!!!!!

the flying monkeys said...

Just in case I got anyone confused, finally figured out a name for my blog. I am sticking with this monkey name.

here is wishing you all the best

jams o donnell said...

Doh I didn't clock the linl... Hmmm Something one might also call a Moray Eel!

Elizabeth-W said...

Do you ever watch "what not to wear"? They go ape over 'novelty socks', and not in a good way. I have some christmas tree socks that I've never worn outside my house, but they're good for the long winter nights.

Radioactive Jam said...

I'll "see" your challenge plus raise the stakes, with my goo-goo eyed monkey socks. On my feet. In public.

Way more apeeling than bananas. Ha!