Crikey! I wrote the script for this little beauty mahself. It's based on a gripping true story, and takes inspiration from Meryl Streep's classic, over the top, gnashing of teeth/ rendering of garments performance in the 1980's weepfest, "A Cry In The Dark".
*All the dialogue is spoken in a cornball Australian accent that only classically trained actors possess*
Here is our brightly colored protagonist, Dingo. So fresh. So munchy. So youthful and pink with a seemingly bright future ahead until tragedy strikes.....
MY BABY ATE
THE DINGO!!!!!
Well, to be more precise my baby ate a whole Dingo pack. Look at his face, you can see that alpha canine, Reagan, feels deeply ashamed at decimating an entire pack of Dingoes. Or maybe his countenance reflects remorse due to the churning blur of "real chicken bits" combined with pig lips and monkey hips, swirling around in his paunched belly.
I don't know mate, but I better win a "Best Accent" blogger award for my stunning narration skills. I also had to sacrifice and eat ten pounds of chocolate glazed donuts everyday to gain weight and dye my hair "Jethro's Black Gold" color, just for this role. Now, go throw another shrimp on the barbie and fetch me a medium rare Skippy burger, and bring me that Crocodile Hunter guy so I can poke him with a stick while saying, "OOOOHHH. He doesn't like it when I do this." Now, that I've mastered the same foreign tongue and mannerisms as Greg Wiggle, he'll beg me to give him a starring role in my next production. Then, he'll be mine! All mine.......
9 comments:
You have my vote for Best Accent. And for Best Seinfeld Line Twist.
And Best Scriptwriting On A Pathetically Small Budget.
And Best Cinematic Editing In A Documentary Non-Film.
Elastic, you are just so funny
dude. RaJ is really funny. am i just getting this?
oh, yeah. what was UP with meryl streep's hair in that movie?!?
You realise now that it will be seen as a masterpiece by cinema lovers for years to come, up there with the finest works by Kurosawa and Herzog....
I will content myself with reimagining tv shows. I really must pitch Celebrity Cannibal Survivor...
You deserve an award. One is on its way. It's been due to you for a loooong time.
Seinfeld line twist? I've only watched that show a few times. Could Jerry and the gang somehow have subliminally influenced me? Hey, this was a BIG budget production. We've teased our kids for years with that line, "The Dingo ate mah BAYBEE." So, when I saw that pack of Dingos at Wal-Mart for $0.94 cents, I knew that I had to splurge and buy them. So, many votes. I'll have to start rehearsing my red carpet walk and acceptance speech now.
monkey- I curtsy in your general direction.
carrot jello- No. Carrot Jello will be served up immediately following the performance, with a side of Dingo, of course.
becky-Resistance is futile. Come. Come join RAj's harem. But leave the genie pants and belly jewel at home. We're a modest dressing harem.
jams-As always you make me laugh. Have you looked at some of those Survivor contestants? Bleah. I wouldn't eat them if they were the last people on Earth! Instead of Celebrity Cannibal Survivor, let's have Cannabis Survivor. Dude, like, let the good times rooooooollll.
wendela-I LOVE LOVE LOVE my award. I don't know how to put it in the sidebar though. E-mail me some tips.
mullet-I'm fluent in canine, you know. After years of being called a "female dog", I thought that better I should learn the language.
Celebrity Cannabis Survivor? Hmm let's get it sponsored by Doninoes Pizza "quelling the munchies" since 1878!
That's not Reality TV jams, that would be Fantasy TV. As if celebrities roll their own joints. Pshaw!
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