Friday, August 04, 2006

Moths To The Left Of Me, Moths To The Right......

Here I am. Stuck in the middle with you.

Moth Update!

We've doubled up the armory placing not only the cloved orange in the pantry, but also positioning bay leaves on every shelf too. Yep, they're the moths on the run...... moths on the run. Sorry, sometimes my inner self switches over into Paul McCartney/Wings mode. So, while they're flying around all helter-skelter, we've ambushed them with fly swatter action. We're armed and dangerous, sucka!

My second oldest daughter, Monkey, noticed the growing accumulation of squished moths on the wall that we have to clean and remarked on the surprisingly pretty, shimmery irredescent silver mark that their flattened corpses leave behind. Then, Monkey turned to me all wide eyed and asked, "Mom, do you think that's where the ink in silver gel pens come from"?

If that were true, we could open our own silver gel pen factory. Heck, why stop there? We'll add a line of shimmery metallic eyeshadows, and maybe some body glitter too. A new hue of car paint. Irridescent Silver Moth Metallic. Beautiful and all natural. Making lemonade from lemons is my life philosophy!
Are you inspired?

Edited To Add: This just in!!! Blogger Buddy, Wendela was inspired enough to make mention of me in her latest post. Thus feeding both the ego monster that lives in me, and the humble servant of gratitude that comes with someone appreciating my quirkiness.


omar said...

With 8 swatters, I really think you guys could pull it off.

Just a thought though, if you had like 2 or 3 more kids, imagine how much more productive this operation would be. Imagine.

jams o donnell said...

You've been tagged

mullet said...

moth metallic is the new black?

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Imagine there's no money, imagine if you will.

Imagine a Mom gone crazy, needs sedation with a pill.

Imagine all my many children living in poverty. Oh oh oh.

You might say I'm a breeder, but I'm not the only one.

Omar, YOU should pump out more kids, while I have my tubal done.

What a masterful lyricist I am. Somewhere, Lennon is smiling.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Jams, I'm tagged? Does that mean I'm "IT"? WOO HOOOOO. I've been waiting 32 years to be the "IT" girl of the moment.

Well, mullet, truth be told, after rolling around in the silvery moth corpse residue, I have noticed the slimming effects much like my black clothing.

compulsive writer said...

I feel your moth pain. You know what's funny. Just like when we had mice I was fairly tolerant (although displeased) about them in the food. But they totally crossed the line when they started messing with my quilt fabric. It was a declaration of war in my book.

And of course I won.

I'm finding they come back in cycles, however. I had a few years off then this year they're back. What's up with that?

omar said...

Hopefully one more, but that's not enough to start a shimmery metallic eyeshadow company.

the flying monkeys said...

if ur not careful, you gonna make someone wet their pants, I just cant stop laughing

Moi said...

Remember, you're splitting your dough with me. 'Cause I'm your best friend and all. ;)

Elizabeth-W said...

I know this is off-topic, but I just have to say that if you're going to go in for a tubal, have you considered letting someone else go in for medical torture? I'm talking about the big V word. I know Papi is man enough to take it....Any procedure that doesn't require a prescribed pain killer afterwards can't be that bad :)

wendela said...

You just make me laugh, elastic. Even when you're re-doing Lennon's lyrics.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

compulsive, we've lived in this house ten years and never had the moth thing until last year. I'm fine with moths, it's a nicer bug problem than cockroaches, but I drew the line when they infested my Cocoa Cripsies. We have to make a stand somewhere!

I'm filing my paperwork for a moth based eyeshadow patent today, Omar. Looks like we'll have the American market cornered on this product. Your two piddly kids won't be able to horn in our moth money making ventures. HA!

Obokun, just wait for my moth based line of adult diapers. Then you can read away without fear of leakage!

carrot, I'm making you the eyeshadow/body glitter spokesmodel!

elizabeth, I'm not really going in for a tubal, not with the money making possibilities that stems from bringing more moth killing children into the World.

Hey wendela, I still think your avatar looks like a cute little dancing platypus.

christo said...

I always wanted to make lemonade with melons. *snigger snigger*

Hey, at least I tried to be funny.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Chris, do Malaysians know the really gross, "Milk, Milk, Lemonade", chant?

If not, I'll teach it to you. You'll pass it down to your kids, who will pass it down to their kids.......Family traditions are so sweet. :)