Monday, December 11, 2006

Ray, Ray, Go Away!

Rachael Ray's publicist has conspired with all that is unholy to make sure she reaches complete saturation of the public marketplace. Saturated, and unhealthy for you like many of the things she hawks and endorses. Gaw, I'm so SICK of seeing this chick on the front of every magazine, plastic wrapper, and box while perusing the aisles of the grocery store. Maybe, it's just my anti-perky nature but I find the woman supremely fake and annoying. Rachael's best known for her "endearing" little catch phrases, giggling incessantly over nothing, and she should be indicted under the Flagrant Acronym Abuse Act of 1999. Seriously. What exactly is her obsession with E.V.O.O? (Extra Virgin Olive Oil) There's even an online community dedicated to mocking her at Rachael Ray Sucks! She's cute as a button, but enough already!

So, when I picked up our favorite brand of crackers, and gazed upon Rachael's grinning face oncemore, I turned to my kids and said, "For Heavens sakes. With her on the front, they should rename them 'DITZ' crackers." My kids laughed uproariously because they are an ever appreciative audience and they want to keep me in a good mood so I continue feeding them.

I will personally give the smackdown to anyone who saw her risque FHM magazine photo shoot and replies using the Ritz catchphrase that "Everything Tastes Better On A 'DITZ!'"

32 comments:

omar said...

I have no idea who she is, but I have also noticed she's all over everything these days. And while I'm curious about what her deal is, I feel like if I look her up to find out who she is and why I should take her word on purchasing Ritz crackers, then she and her publicists win. I refuse to let them win. I refuse.

Mimo said...

Fight it Omar! Resist the urge to assimilate.

Valarie said...

we saw a television commercial that she was in and my husband asked if she was the same woman on the cracker boxes.

me: Yes, yes she is. She's everywhere.

him: and she's obviously been photoshopped.

A Payne said...

I feel like she yells all the time. I tried to watch a little bit of her show today, but I had to change the channel. All the yelling stresses me out. I need a little inner piece.
Ohmmm... ooohhhmm... ohhhhmmm.

Elizabeth-W said...

There was an article about the anti-Rachael blogs in the New York Times magazine. Pretty funny (in a good way).
Don't try her gingerbread graham crackers. They taste funny (NOT in a good way).

Julie said...

I am pleased to admit that I've never seen this woman. Ever. I've heard of her, but I've never actually seen her show or whatever it is she does.

So does this mean I get a free box of crackers?

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Omar- That iron will and steely determination is what makes you a real man! Your vole fighting skills contribute to the manliness too.

mimo- That's right. Keep cheerleading Omar on to sweet victory!

valarie- Photoshopped? Yes. Yes, she is. At least she's not a stick figure though. I'm torn on this one between hating her personality but liking that her full figured body is glorified by the media. Hmmmm.

A Payne- She's very high energy. If she were a dog she'd be a very yappy terrier. She'd pee on you just from sheer excitement and constantly be wiggling around.

elizabeth- That's why I belong to the bad baby name board. People are horrified at such things and consider it channeling negative energy, but not me. We all need a place to vent about pet peeves, and the Internet has provided an outlet for just that.

julie- We don't have cable, but that still hasn't shielded us from her many, many appearances elsewhere. You Win!!!! A cracker for the cracker!

on.the.run said...

So I have to defend Rachel - A friend of mine has spent some time with her on several occasions and apparently she really is THAT nice.... in that industry that is a rarity and she really is pretty in real life too. Let’s be nice to the nice people and save our mockery for Tom Cruise.

Lianne said...

I really can't stand her... it's loathing. Unadultered loathing... for her hair, her voice, her clothing.

(Sorry, had a Wicked moment there)

It is her voice though... I want to give her valium.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

on the run- I knew this would touch a nerve with someone. Look, I even said that she's undeniably cute, but holy crap, do we really have to see her face EVERYWHERE? I felt this way last year about Jessica Simpson too. Cute girl, and I'm sure she's also very nice in real life, but eventually you get sick of the rampant overexposure. Rachael Ray is dangling on that precipice.

lianne- It's the giggling at odd moments that grates on me after awhile. I will never be called as primary chorister, Nursery Leader, or Young Womens Advisor because I just don't have that much perkiness in me.

jams o donnell said...

Can I ask a silly question ewbl? who is she? and what is her tenuous claim to fame? We have plenty of D listers ourselves who seem to be famous just for being famous.

RC said...

yea, you're right...that is pretty bad...

infact...i wouldn't have bought them at all. I enjoy my own private little protest.

--RC of strangeculture.blogspot.com

Jen-(Mimo) said...

I have no clue who she is, but she looks too young and perky to know very much. It's not like putting up Martha, or Julia.

Carrotjello said...

I am sick of seeing her on everything. I think I have every food box she advertises on because my children are always saying "There she is again!"

No Cool Story said...

First Bogger makes me comment double, then it won't let me at all, it's like he's mad or something, and I didn't do anything bad or whatever. Yet.

RR is just so played. The grinning, the having to explain EVOO every.single.time, the fakey smile.

Ditz, mwahahaha!

Chris said...

I've seen her books in bookstores and was seriously contemplating buying them just for the cover. Then I saw Nigella Lawson and chucked that Racheal Ray away aside.

Chris said...

Like duh! Books are SOLD in bookstores.

Damn that FHM picture. Made me all hungry for some, um, food.

Syar said...

Who's Rachael Ray? How come Chris knows about her? Dang. I want to Google her to be in the loop, but won't that play right into her publicists hands? Crud. Dillemmas.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

jams-She's the heir apparent for the "TV Cooking Queen" title, except that she's had no formal culinary training, and a lot of her recipes suck. Here's her wiki page. Rachael Ray.

rc- Kroger's had the Ritz crackers on sale for 1.88 a box. I got a family to support man and crackers are a staple. We just turn the box around so we don't have Rachael's eyes eerily following us as we walk through the kitchen.

jen- She seems nice, just a little ditzy. It's just the in your face "look at me" exploitation that is really getting old. Ditto for party pictures of Britney Spears sans underwear cropping up everywhere.

carrot jello- For a family like mine that doesn't watch TV, we shouldn't even know who she is, but she really is everywhere! She's like omnipotent. My kids have noticed this too at the grocery store. They say, "Is that that Rachael chick again?"

NCS- I've been trying to comment on your very cool post for hours now and blogger won't allow me to leave my super long, super awesome comment. :( Thanks for the courtesy laugh.

christo- I once bought a magazine at a book store. How weird is that? Yeah, Nigella is pretty too, but is she well versed in annoying acronym talk? Didn't think so.

syar- Chris is an International man of mystery and intrigue. Well, maybe not. I tend to think of him as an equal opportunity kind of guy where good looking women are readily accepted into his presence regardless of place of birth, nationality, race, creed, color, if they like TOOL or not, if they know all the verses to "American Pie", if they pick their noses when nobodys looking. The man has very high standards!

on.the.run said...

Here is the actually meeting of my real life best friend with Ray
http://www.rachaelraymag.com/content/27172/

See, she met her and said she was way nice.... she meets a lot of famous people and doesn't always think they are nice. While I wasn't always a fan of her cooking/recipes at least she is nice.... let her have her time to be every where, she will go away just like nice nice Jessica Simpson did.

compulsive writer said...

Oh honey, I feel your pain. I work for an undisclosed business that just happens to also have reason to have a number of TVs going all day and I can tell you that it does not matter what time of day it is or what day of the week it is, it is ALL Rachel Ray ALL the time.

I haven't seen this level of saturation since Regis was doing Millionaire 24/7.

Jane said...

I agree. Won't stop me from eating those yummy crackers. However, teh day Lindsay Lohan shows up on a box is the day I protest. Talk about saturation...

No Cool Story said...

Aww, Blogger is so naughty. Dang! your comments are always DA BOMB :( I say we beat Blogger up and rub coal on his brown "B" sweatshirts.

I know you love me still <3

elasticwaistbandlady said...

on the run- I didn't know that you hobnob with the rich and famous! That was an interesting article. Honestly, anybody in the constant public eye just wears thin after awhile. You're right about Rachael's moment in the limelight. And this too shall pass....:)

compulsive- Thanks. I feel so warm and fuzzy and validated now!

jane- welcome! Yeah, and what product would she endorse? Panties? Nope. Any kind of food? Nope. I guess she's good for hyping a rehab center or two and maybe some clubs.

NCS- It's a conspiracy to keep us apart, NCS! As Chester Cheetah as my witness, I shall vow to never let them win. NEVER!

Rhonda said...

I could stand her when she was just on Food Network, but her talk show totally annoys me and I hate seeing her on my Wheat Thins every day (and P.S. her great recipe on the back sounds like dog doo) and I am very sure those photos of her have been through Photoshop several times. (Man, I am bitchy today.) Oh, and the RR Sux site is funny...they Photoshop too, but not in a good way.

Whew. That felt good.

Anonymous said...

YOU PEOPLE ARE IMMATURE ADULTS UR JUST HATING ON HER CAUSE SHES EVERTHING U WISH U WERE.. OH and for the men u just hate her because ur wifes dont know how to co0k lol oh and if u hate her so much then why talk about her or watch her shows why ont u waste your time on growing up a little bitches

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Rachael Ray in the heavy doses that the media is feeding us is freaking annoying. But then so is every other toothy celebrity with spotlight overexposure.

It's not nearly as annoying as little half-wit commenters like you though who can't figure out how to spell, use proper grammar, and craps in the face of decent sentence structure. Resorting to profanity is always the mark of a less-intelligent beast. Why don't you quit brainlessly cheerleading for Rachael Ray and use that energy to do something productive like, oh, I don't know, becoming flippin literate or something.

Anonymous said...

First and fore-most, u did mean CAPS and not CRAPS right? your all talkin about proper grammar and spiff. ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY? how old are you? like 50? honestly, are you going through menopause or something? The funny thing is that, your talking about doing something productive whats productive to you? Let me guess sitting down on your fat ass and watching rachael ray and looking for any flaw to criticize. By far that does seem very productive dont you think...... hope to hear from you soon..... just dont get the keyboard full of ice cream.... tah tah

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Are you still hanging around silly troll? Its really a shame that you can't see that this was posted a year ago and nobody's going to read anything you're writing. Oh, well, like anybody could actually read your illiterate scribblings anyway.

I already said that I don't watch her show. And yeah I DO got a fat azz. Fat enough to crush the life out of a asshat troll like you. :)

I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt that maybe English is your second language. I'm praying that it is because if you only know English you certainly don't show any mastery of it and that makes me weep giant tears for you and your ignorance. Let me give you a small lesson that you can carry on with you throughout the rest of your life.
The Difference Between Your And You're

Take the wisdom I've bequeathed upon thee and gather up the enormity of your ignorance and foist it on someone over at the Hanna Montana fan forums you probably hang out at. k? thxbai.

Anonymous said...

jealous is what you are

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Yeaaaaaahhhhhhhh, I'm so jealous of Rachael Ray. Right. I'm such a hideous person I think I'll go drown myself in a big tub of EVOO (Extra Virgin Olive Oil).

I don't usually envy anyone in the limelight because I figure its stressful and they more than earn their paychecks just by dealing with all the crap that fame brings. That being said, I never disparaged Rachael Ray in my post. I only mentioned that she's saturating the market and making people sick and tired of her-the same way we're all getting sick and tired of Britney/Heath/Paris/Nicole etc.

Listen Anonymous in Florida, don't you have better things to do than criticize someone who wrote up a tongue-in-cheek blog post over a year ago? Pathetic is what you are.

Sketchy said...

I cannot believe there is someone out there who uses U and UR and then dares criticize someone else for not being mature. Wow, if we could only harness that stupidity, well actually it would power nothing, but just think of it!

"Oh, ho, ho, irony! Oh, no, no, we don't get that here. See, uh, people ski topless here while smoking dope, so irony's not really a, a high priority. We haven't had any irony here since about, uh, '83, when I was the only practitioner of it. And I stopped because I was tired of being stared at."