This real estate agent is in desperate need of a savvy Press Agent. And I'm ready to volunteer my unique 'marketing whore' services for the job. Just envision a whole promotional paraphernalia blitz with my craftily genius slogan boldly emblazoned across them. Yeah, a veritable butt load of plastic combs, coozies, key chains, all printed with "Need To Sell Your House Fast? THE CANDY MANN CAN!" She needs glitz! She needs glamour! She needs huge signs adorned with dancing multi-colored lollipops to take advantage of her sweet, sweet name. I mean, who wouldn't want to buy a house from the Candy Mann? It's the kind of name recognition that earns you immediate attention and fanfare. I'm afraid that dear 'Candace' just isn't capitalizing on the marketing potential that having such an incredible moniker allows her. If Candy Mann called you on the telephone, wouldn't you brag to all your friends that you personally know the Candy Mann? I would.
How about this cute little jingle for her radio and T.V. ads? It goes to the tune of The Candy Man. The original one, not Christina Aguilera's horrifying version.
Who can take a crap house
And shine it up with paint?
Cover up the termites and the cracks. What a Saint!
The Candy Mann, the Candy Mann can
Candy Mann can 'cause she sells a house with love
And makes the 'hood look good....
Candy Mann should just embrace the sweet awesomeness of her name. After all, her sister, Gaye Mann, wasn't nearly as lucky as her. Gaye Mann barely eaks out a living driving an ice cream truck. Believe it or not, people aren't that eager to buy frozen treats from a vehicle that says 'Gaye Mann Ice Cream' on the side. "I scream, you scream, we all scream at Gaye Mann Ice Cream." Poor Gaye Mann.