Monday, March 26, 2007

I'm In Loooooove............Sweet Love!

My Papi and I have both have distinctive accents. Mine is of an unremarkable milquetoast, plain Jane, white cracker, middle of the road, Mid-Westerner. My Papi, however, possesses the super suave sexy Mexi accent that's the stuff of legendary cinematic Latino lovers. Most of the time we do speak the same language, although it's not always the language of love. On occasion, though, our vastly different accents do interfere with the smooth process of communication.

Just the other day while standing in the kitchen I began teasing Papi because moments prior I bum rushed in, almost toppling him over, in a desperate effort to score the very last Kit Kat candy bar out of the candy bucket. Yeah, most people have a candy dish. We have a candy bucket. What of it? Papi narrowed his gorgeous coppery eyes at me and bitterly said, "Girlie, you will be so sorry when the RAPTOR comes and takes me away, and you'll be left behind." I began laughing uncontrollably. I mean, who's to say I didn't use Papi as bait so that I could escape the hungry clutches of the RAPTOR? I won't really feel sorry when the RAPTOR comes and leaves me behind. Nope, not at all.

Which leads me to wonder about super sensual soul singer, Anita Baker. She must have experienced a much different RAPTOR than the ferocious, sharp clawed prehistoric beast that Jurassic Park introduced us to in the 90's, because she even wrote a touching sentimental song professing her unflagging amore for all things RAPTOR. Yes, Anita has found herself 'caught up in the RAPTOR of love,' and she says that nothing else can compare. The RAPTOR of Love reportedly beat out The Gangster of Love and the space cowboy to win the affections of Miss Baker. I wish them much happiness together. I'll send an economy sized package of Band Aids for their wedding present, because sometimes, love hurts.

*Raptor artwork credited to the creative genius, No Cool Story, of Mas Cowbell fame. Thanks!*

13 comments:

Sketchy said...

Raptor of Love...sometimes it hurts so good...

jams o donnell said...

The raptor of love, you know ewqbl there culd be many more dinosaur/emotion or profession linkups..

How about the Tyrannosaurus of jurisprudence? The Stegosaurus of retail trade...

Glo said...

Wow. First you tell me that hair stylings teach me God loves me. And then - just when I thought I'd found the depths of spirituality - I discover that in the name of love, you can feed your significant other to the 4 Dinosaurs of the Apocalypse.

No Cool Story said...

Whe I was little I thought apes would take over the world.
Then as I grew older I figured it was really robots that would do us in.

But now that I'm much older and wiser, EWBL has hsown me the truth: it's Raptors that will be our doom!.
You'll be left behind Elastic, you and your candy bucket.
DOOOM I tell you!!

Kimberly said...

I'm sure it's mentioned in Revelations somewhere....just about everything else is.

Toni said...

You crack me up!

omar said...

That graphic is cracking me up. Nice work, NCS! As for you, Elastic, shame on you for laughing at your man!

Annie said...

I go to a place to hike called Dinosaur Hill.

I have not been caught up in the raptor of love there, but I have found my thrill on Dinosaur Hill.

Burg said...

Those kinds of misunderstandings are funny for years! We have a communication problem sometimes too.. It's because I don't listen when my husband is talking about things that bore me. That's almost all the time in case you're keeping score.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

sketchy- "It Hurts So Good," quoted directly from the bestselling book, John Mellencamp's Guide To Living, Loving, Marrying Models Half Your Age And Naming Your Child Something Stupid, Like Hud.

jams- The pterodactyl of buffalo wing restaurants.....

glo- I told Papi that the raptor wouldn't want me and my pasty white skin. I look undercooked. Papi's toasted brown skin though makes him look more medium to well done. He's definitely the finest in Raptor cuisine.

NCS- I'll be left behind with the cast members from 'Left Behind.' Crap. Maybe I can work out a deal with the Raptor to go ahead and take Kirk Cameron too. He's annoying. I'm afraid that he may be past his prime for the Raptor though.

kimberly- Revelations of tribulations. No carnations or exclamations. :(

toni- gracias ma'am. I'm glad that I crack you up while I'm literally cracking up.

omar- I thought all men liked a tease?

annie- Does Secret Agent Man know?

burg- I have my patented perpetual bobblehead motion going when Papi drones on and on.

omar said...

What excellent timing! We watch the Simpsons every night before bed, and last night's episode was the one where Homer was predicting when the rapture would happen. I had read this post not an hour earlier.

Hopefully this is not some kind of sign. My house isn't raptor proof.

Julie said...

Okay, I feel stupid. It wasn't until Omar's last comment that I finally understood that Papi meant to say "rapture." Duh. (Okay, okay. So I'm blonde. Sue me.)

Mimo said...

ROFL, Papi's comment about the Raptor had me rolling. Love that Latino accent.