Saturday, April 28, 2007

Yeah, This Name Does Make Me Feel ILL!

I spotted this name yesterday while cruising through the hood. ILLISSA? Did they bastardize my name, Melissa, or is it a screwy ILL-mannered attempt at Alyssa/Elissa? I just can't decide. Mainly the word ILL sticks out. ILL, as in sick, ailing, afflicted, nauseous, poopy..... ILL like the rappers in the 80's who used to break it down with a raucous chorus of "You Be ILLIN!" ILL as in ILLegal. Doesn't the yard sign make this a house of ILL repute? It just rouses my insatiable curiosity to no end as to why the parents thought this an attractive name for their offspring. Did they sound it out first? Maybe these folks hail from ILLinois, Land Of Lincoln, and they decided to pay tribute? Certainly, I don't mean them any ILL will. And I don't want anyone to feel ILL at ease, but foisting this crap name on a child seems ILL-advised.

19 comments:

on.the.run said...

some names should be ILLegal... people don't think. I don't like it when people use a name that people are familiar with and then decide to spell it in some "clever" way.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

I have to admit something deeply shameful to you......

Back in my wild days of reckless youthful abandon, I tampered with the spelling of our second daughter's name by dropping the traditional 'IE' ending and making it 'EE' instead. It may have been my own silent protest because I wanted to name her Holly, and Papi adamantly said "NO!" It's still pronounceable and not too weird, but my Monkey will never be able to buy cheap crappy merchandise with her name stamped on it. I did learn my lesson and never duplicated my foolish baby naming behaviour again, though. It's not Kree8tyve and Y'OUNIQUE to misspell your child's name. It just makes it look like mommy and daddy are illiterate.

Toni said...

Mine are David and Luke. Nice and normal. Last names aren't of course. I loathe it when people spell names wrong.

Julie Q. said...

Okay I'm still trying to figure that sign out. Is the K part of the name too? Is her name really Killissa? Because I think that might be worse. Like a feminine KillBill.

Elizabeth-W said...

Weird weird weird.
You be illin...All her parents' friends are thinking that for sure.

Carrotjello said...

That's just lazy parenting. What do they call her for short? Ill? Sickos.

b. said...

I finished my daughters name with ee instead of ney. No cheap crap for her either....but I still think it's cuter.
Illissa is just wrong. My mom's name is Malissa, my gram told me it was a family name but didn't know how to spell it. This was back in the pony express day and it took too long for paul revere to get back from the ancestors to reveal the correct spelling, so she got M-A-lissa, instead of the proper M-E-lissa. Maybe my Gram was ILLiterate a little, but she grew out of that....became a smart business woman, and now enjoys wealth.

jams o donnell said...

Damn I thought I had posted this already. It looks like Killissa to me which is even worse, especially if there is a family member called issa

Carrotjello said...

Killissa! *GASP!* They're not sickos, they're evil!

Syar said...

In Malaysia, we've got girls named Ily (ill-lee) and I actually like that name. But Illissa just reminds me of the Illiad, but not in an epic, grand way.

I've moved house. I can now be found at brighthopes.wordpress.com. Hope to see you at the new place. :-)

Millie and her David Bowie socks said...

Ill, you need to chill.

Ill, wipe up that spill.

Ill, go feed your pet whale some krill.

Ill, you're stuck with the bill.

This poor girl would have no chance in my house. We're still making fun of anyone with the first name "Areeyah." As in, Die, Areeyah! Die, Areeyah!

No Cool Story said...

Killissa
Illissa
IllissaK
???
ANy combination is just wrong.

I'll tell you what's right:
Who can it be knocking at my door?
Go 'way, don't come 'round here no more.
Can't you see that it's late at night?
I'm very tired, and I'm not feeling right.

YEAH!

Suzie Petunia said...

Hey, I recognize that big blue "K". I used to have one with my name on it, too. Thank goodness my parents didn't name me Illissa!

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Toni- Ditto. That doesn't make me a 'Ditto Head' though!

julie- NO! The local high school distributes all their yard signs with the giant K on it. But then think about Irish actor Cillian (pronounced Killian) Murphy who was in 'Red Eye,' and 'Batman Begins.' Killian is just all kinds of wrong to me.

elizabeth- People are thinking that but are generally too polite to say so. I'm cowardly that way too. I snark about bad names the anonymous way.......on my blog.

carrot jello- Maybe she was the result of an ILLicit affair?

syar- Everyone is jumping off the blogger ship. Is it sinking fast? Should I be worried? Should I inflate my Winnie The Pooh water wingies now?

b.- I get your tongue in cheekiness. Name weirdness didn't bother me until I started hanging out a site called 'Baby's Named A Bad, Bad Thing.' Now, I realize that my Stefanee will have to live the rest of her life telling people, "It's Stefanee. With an 'F' and an 'EE' at the end." She's constantly having to correct people on the spelling. Even my own Grandma hasn't gotten it yet. Yeah, I regret foisting that on her and in turn making Papi and I look like dorks that we took a traditional name and spelled it however we felt like.

jams- Guess what name is fast moving up charts in Europe? ISIS! Calista would be preferable to Killissa. You'd get the same sound, a legitimate name, and it leaves out all the 'kill' connotations.

millie- How do you solve a problem like Areeyah?

NCS- The lead singer's creepy eye frightens me even more than the name, Illissa.

suzie- Me loooovvveee your baby and her awesome name. Alice Rose <3

BarnGoddess said...

omg, the poor kid! that is worse than naming her Apple.....or bono

Millie said...

I would name a kid Bono.

OK, no I wouldn't. But I would wish that I could. "If only people didn't think of Sonny Bono... or worse..."

jams o donnell said...

Calista? or should that be Kill sista?

Linda said...

I think it's "Killissa" as in a volleyball "kill."

Linda said...

err, i mean, soccer.