Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Forget About Bringing 'SexyBack,' Mika's Bringing 'Love Today!'

Rising International superstar and John Mayer clone, Mika, holds the distinctive honour of leading our Gay Tuesday charge today with his perfect Freddie Mercury falsetto voice and hot disco beats. I defy you to listen to his smokin new song, 'Love Today' and have the ability to control your body from wildly sashaying to and fro, and your voice from singing along to the ultra catchy repetitive chorus.

As you know, my merry band of Gay Warriors continue fighting the good fight, reclaiming all things GAY back for the side of us plain old happy people. I'd like to recruit Mika to join the venerable Gay Warrior Squad, but he already broke one of our major tenets by squabbling with Scissor Sisters lead singer, Jake Spears. Shirtless vest-wearing Jake accused Mika of ripping his 'unique' sound right off the Scissor Sisters. That's ironic, since everyone knows that the Scissor Sisters, in turn, ripped their 'unique' sound right off vintage Elton John material. No, only good feelings must exist among the Gay Warriors. In order to join our ranks, you're required to feel perpetually happy, agreeable, perky, and only fart sparkly rainbow dust. Jake and Mika will have to work out their differences in the rainbow Jell-O wrestling pit.

Happy Gay Tuesday Everyone! May you always feel pretty, and witty, and GAY!

You know you've made it to the big time when New York City dedicates an entire port-a-potty in your honour. Congratulations MIKA for the prettiest, most colorful, most brilliantly GAY toilet I've ever had privilege to look upon.


Carrotjello said...

Dude, I totally forgot about gay Tuesday, and went and made my own day. Sorry about that.

Tori :) said...

Holy gay! And I know gay- I have a gay BIL. I should get me a shirt like those old "Bo Knows baseball" shirts. "Tori:) knows gay..."

Chris said...

I only started "accepting" Mika after having to listen to his dastardly first single after the 73563th time. Though I really wish he would "sing" as opposed to sounding like his dear family jewels are being squeezed for orange juice.

I now feel like drinking some orange juice, oddly enough. Ciao!

Kimberly said...

So totally off subject, I was watching Veggietales with my girls today. And Larry's character shouted at Bob's character, "Hold your tongue, you INFIDEL!"

I smiled a nice cozy smile and thought of you.

Syar said...

I love Mika! My favourite two songs are Lollipop (Where he sings Sucking too hard on your lollipop, oh, love's gonna bring you down) and Billy Brown (where B.Brown falls in love with another man). There's also Big Girl (You Are Beautiful) which is all sorts of awesome.

carronin said...

Yay! It's Gay Tuesday again. Mika's 'Grace Kelly' it took a few times of hearing it before I fell in Gay love now I'm going to go listen to 'Love Today'. Thanks Elastic you made my day gay!( when I say gay I mean happy:)

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Waaaahhhhhh, Papi started back to school yesterday and that means oodles of extra work for me. I didn't want to miss Gay Tuesday, but writing it meant that I had ZERO blog commenting time yesterday after work.

Do not fret, I'm still good for squeezing the reciprocal comment out of! My friend, Phil Collins, said it best when he sang, "Oh, tonight, tonight, tonight, oooooooooo, I'm gonna make it right, tonight, tonight, tonight....."

elasticwaistbandlady said...

By the way, Syar and Chris, Mika hasn't really hit the American airwaves yet which means that his retro sound is still kind of a novelty. Ditto for the Scissor Sisters. I have satellite radio because American broadcasting refuses to play anything outside a very meager set list which they keep in constant rotation.

jams o donnell said...

He certainly is popular here. I liked his previous single Grace Kelly which I think (I don't really follow the charts any more) was quite a big UK hit

No Cool Story said...

Nothing says Gay to me more than falsettoing. Sorry, my Gaydar is that sensitive. Never heard of Mika before, he's cool and gay in my book now.
"Sashaying" is one of those words I just love. Mika had me sashaying on my comfy chair. Thanks for sharing the love. Today.

aubrey said...

oh i LOVE that song. mika is SO gay. happy, i mean. and he DOES sound strangely similar to scissor sisters. and THEY sound strangely similar to ELTON JOHN. i totally agree with you on that one girl. how retarded that they would accuse mika of stealing their sound.
thanks for bringing mika into my life and happy gay tuesday!

mcewen said...

British huh! I am out of touch. I tried the linky doo dahs - should one of them have played 'his tune'?
I now have a new ambition in my life - my own personal public porta potty - thank you for increasing my goals.

Suzanne said...

Ooh, I haven't met very many people that like Mika! I've grown a little tired of "Grace Kelly", but I'm loving "Love Today". Whenever I hear it, I think of someone riding a horse. I don't know why, it just fits the tune. It makes me want to dance! Happy Gay Tuesday! :)

BarnGoddess said...

i KNOW gay too....my hubs half brother is VERY gay. I love my BIL J.!!
too bad hubs and the rest of his family are so freaking homophobic they act like he has leprosy (sp?)

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Carrot-What the heck were you thinking? I demand that your entire life revolve around Gay Tuesday! Thou shalt have no other themed Tuesdays before mine.

Tori- Of course you know gay. Takes one to know one! You know what gives MIKA away? The tight white jeans. They are as equivalent as buttless chaps and vests with no shirts.

chris- C'mon Chris, doesn't MIKA make you want to get in touch with your gay side?

kimberly- I've seen that one too.....many times. Do you know how often I sing "Where Is My Hairbrush?" because my girls take it out of my bathroom. Do you know how often we serenade our cheeseburgers at dinner? Yes, Veggie Tales has taught us well.

SYAR- He's mum on his sexual predelictions, but thanks to Billy Brown, I'm pretty sure I know which direction he leans.

jams- Grace Kelly is okay but Love Today is more groovealicious to shake it to.

carronin- May every day be a Gay Day for you, my child.

NCS- I learned all I ever needed to know about the art of sashay from RuPaul. I'm telling you, NCS, even if he didn't sing falsetto, just look at his white jeans. Look at them, I say! That sets forth visions in my mind of "his and his" bathroom hand towels hanging side by side.

Aubrey- I'm feeling the happy, happy joy joy gay love coming from you!

mcewen- I won't rest until a port a pot is plastered with the smiling face of the Smiling Infidel. I'll make sure it features cozy seating and nicely scented hand soap.

suzanne- That's because we are Morm moms and you're wandering 'outside the box' if you deviate from Celine Dion, matchbox 20, Jack Johnson, and Dave Matthews. Don't you know that it's a Relief Society mandate for church women under 40 to listen to those people only. Gay Tuesday music might shock and horrify my fellow RS sisters.

barn goddess-I was living with two gay guys when I met my super conservative Papi! They taught me more about how to be a woman than my mom or home economics ever did. Seriously, I learned about handling laundry properly, how to make Chocolate Napoleons and other desserts, and that I looked good with blonde highlights.

b. said...

I like Mika AND I like Scissors. "Can't we all just get along??"
He IS Freddy reincarnated.
Lastic...I love phag tuesday, I mean gay tuesday. It makes me smile!
I MIGHT use that public toilet...MIGHT....no, no I would not.

b. said...

I heart sashay too.

Suzanne said...

I guess if enjoying Adult Alternative music is going "outside the box" then that's what I am. Cuz that's what I like! We can be outside boxies together! :)