Friday, October 19, 2007

Dressed For Nursing Success

Ladies: Have you ever wanted to go out clubbing but you just couldn't find a babysitter for your still-suckling infant? It looks like the fashion industry has solved all your problems! Now, you can shake it on the dance floor while simultaneously breast-feeding your baby in these shirts that won't encumber or restrict your boobage in any way.

Me and my merry band of Infidels hit the mall on Monday and uncovered this revealing new trend in apparel. Uncovered and Revealing being the optimum words here. Who knew that the Janet Jackson's House of Exposed Titty Fashions would catch on?

*These Stores Received An Infidel Citation For Most Appalling And Inappropriate Sexualization Of A Mannequin Since The Crappy Andrew McCarthy Movie, 'Mannequin'*

38 comments:

elasticwaistbandlady said...

If anyone needs me I'll be holed up in the garage today trying to piece together last minute Halloween costumes for my chillens in anticipation of tomorrow's ward Hallloween party.......pictures and details coming to a blog post near you very soon!

Lisa said...

Did you buy one of those shirts? Certainly you could do something for Halloween with one of those.

Sorry, not funny. But yes, those are the perfect nursing blouses. But I like how you were combining nursing and dancing. I hope that the nursing mom would forgo the night on the town to take care of her baby. But maybe these are designed for the britney's out there. :(

Nancy Face said...

Uncovered and Revealing INDEED, hahaha! Can't wait to see what Omar has to say.

Boobage is the awesomest word.

WHAT? You have to be ready for Halloween by the stinkin' 20th? Someone has GOT to be kidding!!! :0

Carrot Jello said...

So, this is what they wear in Texas, eh?

Kayelyn said...

No boobage need here.

Ready for Halloween as of yesterday.
Bring it on. I need a name for my bloody doctor's outfit though.

Bee said...

Were you shopping in my closet????

copy and paste ♪ ♫

click from work! ☺ ☻ ☼

BarnGoddess said...

omg, even when I was thin (many many moons ago) I still would NOT be caught out in one of those thingys, talk about boobieslippage~

I love Halloween! I cant wait to see your costumes.

Jean Knee said...

almost makes me want to have a suckling child on my breast as we speak.


ALMOST being the operative word here

compulsive writer said...

I want you to know I continue to use the word boobage at every chance I get. I'm completely serious about wanting it inducted into Mirriam Webster.

Stacey said...

Elastic you have found the solution to my problem! I never had this kind of convience when I was nursing my other kids. Thanks for showing me the way that I can be a bar hopper and still feed my baby. You rock!

Stacey said...

Supernatural rocks!

Lauren said...

Oh man, where can I get one of them?! haha...jussst kidding. I couldn't pull off such a number...my boobage is concave. For Real. No Lie.

Physcokity said...

Well that's one form of birth control..

Sadly though I own that movie. Mostly it's b/c of Estelle Getty. I'm a fan.

Annie said...

I'd be the hit of the PTA with that shirt!

Suzanne said...

Do nursing moms have b00bs that perky? ;D

You know there are going to be girls wearing those shirts, thinking they look good, even if they're 30 pounds too heavy for it. I can hear the screams from onlookers now...

omar said...

I don't see what's wrong with either of those shirts.

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

"I caught him doing sick things to a half-naked dummy!"

I think that's exactly the idea these people were going for - nursing mothers. We're the epitome of sexy.

Melissa said...

Can you wear a nursing bra with those puppies??

Jennifer B. said...

There's nothing more attractive than a dancing mother with a nursing baby latched to her chest. That number on the right? I bet that sequin waistband doubles as a sling. There's some bling for your baby. Plus, that fabric is sure to draw attention to the inevitable milk stains.

Totally hot.

No Cool Story said...

At first I was semi-hypnotozed by all tha sequin....ooooh shiny.
But then the colors and obvious boobage accessibility of the first one (your right?, my left?) won me over.

Bratney would approve.

Stacey said...

I have Mannequin on DVD. It's craptacular but I love it.

I even have Mannequin 2 on VHS. shhh...

"..nothing's gonna stop us now.."

aubrey said...

i love mannequin. i wasn't allowed to watch it so i went to my neighbor's house and watched it about six times in a row. sex in a floor display tent. naughty.

i'm confused as to what they do when they have boobie leakage...just let it drip? cuz there's not way a nursing bra or any kind of bra for that matter would work under those.

glittersmama said...

I like the purple one best. It has extra space for you to actually put the baby into the shirt with you. Then both hands could be free for some serious dancing.

Geosomin said...

Yes. I went shopping a few weeks ago and thought it was halloween. Apparently the Hot Whore look is in at the mo. I mean, good on you if you can pull that stuff off, but jaysus.
I agree about the purple being better for the chillins...it's like a snugly carrier and open feeder all in one.

Tori :) said...

So, which style did you buy???

Bee said...

It's afternoon time now and those manneqs are still perky!

Greeting click from mi casa!

Jean Knee said...

miss you

compulsive writer said...

There's a Mannaquin 2?

elasticwaistbandlady said...

You didn't know that CW??!!? Oooh, now I know what to get you for your birthday. I have a feeling I can find a copy in the dollar bin somewhere. It doesn't even have the star wattage of a washed-up Andrew McCarthy either. Neither Kim Cattrall. It focuses on the gay black guy instead.

jams o donnell said...

And not a dreadful Starship song for the sequel's soundtrack either I'll be bound... Oh how Jefferson Airplane fell!

As for the clothes.. I reckon they would be a must have for the fashionable wet nurse! I

Tamra Norton said...

Well a lotta good these shirts will do me NOW!!! I spent the better part of nearly two decades nursing my 7 bambinos (one at a time, of course). I only see one problem with these lactation friendly shirts--how do you secure the nursing pads? Duck Tape?

Bee said...

So I get that you don't like the movie mannequin but do you like Big Trouble In Little China? Kim Cat. is also in that classic.

Quote from movie:

Jack Burton: You know what ol' Jack Burton says at a time like this?

Thunder: Who?

Jack Burton: Jack Burton... ME!

click

Jean Knee said...

what do you get when you cross a penis and a potato?




a dictator

on.the.run said...

Going shopping these fays makes me feel old because I just don't get it.

Jean Knee said...

yippee, gotta go kitty is back!

elasticwaistbandlady said...

I did it just for you jean knee!

normanbatesmomma said...

THAT is why I don't let my Norman date. Slutty women walking around with breasts flapping about... PURE EVIL

Julie said...

Boobage.... Do they make a version for the man with Breasticles?