And then when my eyes bore solemn witness to the macabre scene left behind on the grounds of the secret Plastic Flamingo Gallows- a cry of anguish escaped my pursed lips and burst slowly forth, punctuating the eerie silence. Despondently, I tallied up the carnage of those who had met the wrong end of the noose this fateful autumnal eve.
Since when does decorating your yard with the always delightfully-kitschy plastic pink flamingo constitute a capital offense? Who made these people judge, jury, and executioner that they could play Flamingo Hangman like this? Maybe the Homeowners Association President lives here, and he's trying to send a message out to any and all who dare landscape with flamboyant flamingo panache--Do it, and the flamingo gets it. Capiche?
Well, if we're going to punish abhorrent tackiness and fug in such an appalling manner, I move to take down A Flock Of Seagulls before targeting a Flock Of Flamingos. We must also stop to consider all the sad and lonely garden gnomes bereft of their flamingo companionship. Won't you please think of the gnomes?!? Stop the senseless flamingo violence today for a better flamingo tomorrow.....
*No Flock Of Seagulls Were Harmed In The Making Of This Post Because They Ran, They Ran So Far Away. And They Ran, They Ran All Night And Day.....*