Sunday, September 30, 2007

Infidel Love Fest 2007

I write The Smiling Infidel to keep my brain muscles from further atrophying after years of hard core Barney watching and ingesting straight-up, pure grade Pixie Stix granules. It's also a clearinghouse for all the strange ideas shelved on the cheap, particle board bookcases lining the annals of my mind- Ideas just sitting there gathering dust and plotting their escape. When The Smiling Infidel was birthed nearly two years ago, they could finally stretch and see the light of day. Most people who stumbled across the newly unleashed ideas, went all slack-jawed and horrified at the sight of such irreverent and naughty little things, and they ran away as fast as their legs could carry them. But others saw the ideas, and it made them smile. They chose to reach out their hands and lovingly stroke the ideas which feed directly into the Infidel ego.

I'll admit it, I like the recognition and awards I've received lately. I want to line em' all up, throw em' on the bed, and roll around on em' Indecent Proposal style-Yes, that's just how much I love these awards. But more than anything, I love you guys for continuing to bolster my spirits and keep me from giving in to frequent thoughts of blog termination with your great comments. I'd like to finally shed my ungrateful heathen outer layer by showing a little appreciation and thankfulness.
I wrote about Chutzpah:The World's First Jewish Rap Supergroup last year. They must have liked what I had to say. They liked it so much they took a snapshot of the post HERE, and put it on their press page above such names as Gary Oldman and Debbie Harry. Oy Vey!
They also made this little linkie and slapped it alongside their reviews from Billboard, Yahoo Music, and MTV. Thanks Chutzpah. I lift my gentile spoon of matzoh ball soup towards you in Kosher Tribute!
BURG nominated me for this. And Wynne seconded her motion. Thanks ladies.


Jams O'Donnell forwarded the love he received on his blog to me. This is the only kind of love I'll accept from another man. I'm a good girl. Thanks Jams. Suzanne and Nancy bestoweth the honoreth of making them smileth uponeth me. I already have the Barry Manilow, 'Can't Smile Without You' award......I think these two will make a handsome pair in my trophy case. Thanks Suzanne and Nancy.
Lisa thinks that Nice Matters. She's right, of course--Nice, France is a very exciting tourist destination located along the French shoreline. Thanks Lisa.

Radioactive Jam wanted to call me a floozy, but did the gentlemanly thing and gave me a 'Schmoozy' award instead. Thanks RAJ.The most surprising news of the week came when the noted LDS magazine, Segullah picked up The Smiling Infidel blog feed along with some of my other favorite bloggy friends. I'm beyond thrilled and thinking the reason behind such a move may be to show that not all LDS women are Work And The Glory-quoting, Tater Tot Casserole-toting scrapbookers- Not that there's anything wrong with that. Some of us are a little bit 'quirkier' than the status quo, but we love our religion just as much. Thanks Segullah.

Look at me giving all this thanks a full two months before Thanksgiving. Practice makes perfect.

53 comments:

Stacey said...

Oh my gosh,I'm first again? Wow,that are the odds??

Congrats on all your awards Elastic. You deserve them all! *applause*

Stacey said...

Umm,"that" should be "what". I was so excited I couldn't type.

Jean Knee said...

If we ever meet in person, can I touch the finger that clicks the mouse? just briefly of course.

I'd give you an award for the funnest mail sender, if I knew how

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Thanks you guys for not running away and screaming when you saw how long this post turned out. Man, sometimes I'm just so full of it and it bleeds out onto my blog.

I also meant to make this a comments off post since I'm working on something else to debut this evening but I guess it's too late now.

jean knee- Diana Ross once asked me the same thing and then I was like "Touch Me InThe Morning Then Just Walk Away." And then she turned my words into a major hit. Are you going to do that o me too??!!?

stacey- Thanks you. Sometimes I feel like I deserve accolades and other times I cringe at how horrible I write. I guess it's contingent upon my last post. My last post was awful because I mocked people for their spelling while I was sitting their unawares of my own spelling errors. I'm surprised the spelling police didn't come and haul my crappy spelling self away.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Yeah, I just used the wrong form of there in my comment above. Now I'll get a tried and executed by the spelling police and the grammar nazis.

Special K ~Toni said...

Congrats EWBL! If anyone deserves these awards it is you!

I know if I am feeling blue, I just need to turn to you!

Bee said...

WHAT!?
You've sometimes thought about pulling the plug on your blog?!

If you ever do I'll jump out of my window!
I'll jump! I really will!
You'll have to come with a spatula to scrape my innards off the sidewalk!


(I'm on the first floor but we don't need to discuss that.)

Bee said...

uh... *click*

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

Pardon my French, but you're slack-jawed and horrified!!!

::clapping for joy::

I had no idea whom I was correcting, obviously. Someone who has won this many awards doesn't need to worry how she spells things.

P.S. I touched that finger. I think.

aubrey said...

you know what, elastica? i absolutely love your blog and am so glad that i found it. i love how you said, "Some of us are a little bit 'quirkier' than the status quo, but we love our religion just as much." there is nothing wrong with the "Work And The Glory-quoting, Tater Tot Casserole-toting scrapbookers" girls but that's just not who i am or who a lot of us are and i find you very REFRESHING.

Kimberly said...

Hmmm...maybe it's your inner Canadian trying to break loose? Our Thanksgiving is coming up next weekend. Y'know, 'cause we're cool like that.

Congrats on all the bling - you're fab and you deserve it.

Kayelyn said...

There are many people commenting who misspell or use the words wrong. I have not felt that way with your comments. Give yourself a break and know that when you leave a comment on my blog I LOVE it. It makes my whole day better.

I love to read your blog and usually end up laughing at the way you have presented a situation, sight, event, or anything. You bring joy to others. If I knew how to make an award I would bestow it on you. You make me happy.

Jean Knee said...

elastic, yeah I'll make it a hit.

if a blog has proper spelling and grammar and stuff it detracts from the fun, trust me this id true

Tori :) said...

You are totally deserving of all these awards!! Your trophy case will be overflowing. YOu should just give some of them away...

Lisa said...

Recently I said the same thing to Millie-finding your blog as well as a few others has been a breath of fresh air. Some of us are a little more quirky, but only some of us express it well on the blog. You do an excelent job of that!

No Cool Story said...

WOW WOW WOWWWWWW
VIVA LA ELASTICITY!!
VIVIA THE INFIDEL!!
arriba arriba! (Got tired of yelling)

Congrats my dear Elastic :)
I hope autographs will still be free for friends.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Okay, this post wasn't to whore up myself, it's intended to show appreciation for the little awards that I slapped in the sidebar without saying thank you to anybody.

THANK YOU EVERYBODY

Suzanne said...

Yay! You deserve all of these awards! I love coming to your blog and I'll bet that I'm not the only one that you make smile! :D

Lisa said...

Haha, "whore up myself". Still laughing....

Elizabeth-W said...

Congrats for almost two years' worth of service. I hope no one releases ya'!

Stacey said...

I didn't know it was possible to whore up yourself.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

I'm whoring up right now.......to the highest bidder with the biggest box of chocolates. If I was a whore I would definitely whore up myself. I want to be in business for myself. I don't need no stinkin pimp.

I'll write a book and call it:
I Was A Whore Self-Contractor
Making Money The Old-Fashioned Way

Stacey said...

I would buy it.

wynne said...

...and I would eat the chocolates when you were looking the other way. 'ware!

wynne said...

And don't pull the plug on your blog. Not yet. After all, I've only been reading a few months, and I still have much to learn, O Mighty Teacher.

wynne said...

AND HEY!!!! SHE LINKED ME!!! DID EVERYBODY SEE THAT?!? ELASTIC LINKED MEEEEE!!!! (Talk about whoring yourself up...I do it on other people's blogs all the time.)

Carrot Jello said...

I freaking never get any attention. Never. I dont' make anyone happy, or make them smile or even LOL. They don't blog about my good mail or how great I am in real life. I'm sick of it. I'm going to jump ship. Oh yes. I am. Here I go. I'm going. I'm really going.
Fine.
Whatever.

omar said...

I'm printing out every email you've ever sent me and I'm putting them on eBay.

Jackpot!

Sketchy said...

You're awesomely awesome, that's why you get all the awards.

Nancy Face said...

You are talented and amazing and creative and hilarious and quirky in the best way possible! I LOVE reading your posts and laughing my head off! Yeah, sometimes my floor gets pretty messy, what with all the head cleanups...

Congrats for all your awards and honors! You deserve them all! :D

I think yore speling is just gtate.

Nancy Face said...

Oops, I mean grate.

Suzanne said...

LOL at Nancy!!! Oh and many LOLs for Carrot. I'll come to your blog and tell you right now! :)

Annie said...

I just want everyone to know that this awarding winning non-scrapbooking blogger's buns warmed my sofa!

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

Oh yeah? Her buns touched my buns!

(Well - one of my buns touched one of her buns)

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

(and the other bun was touching one of Carrot's buns)

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

Wait - did I just use the word "buns" multiple times????

GRAHAHHAHGHHAHGHAHAHHAG!!

::plungering my face::

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

Hey, remember a diet foods line called "Lite and Lively?" Don't you think it should have really been called, "Dark and Deadly?"

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

"Stupid and Stupidly?"
"Silent and Deadly?"
"Deadbeat and Dreary?"
"Mouthy and Showoffy?"
"Drooling and Mouth-Frothingy?"
"Whiny and Bratty?"
"Dippy and Dipwad-y?"
"Jason Bateman and Michael Bluth-y?"

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

Speaking of Michael Bluth...

"Wet and Tonguey?"
"Hot and Teeth-Lickingy?"

Lisa said...

Funny funny people.

Melissa said...

You deserve every one of those awards! I give you a standing ovation... all by myself. And stuff.

on.the.run said...

Hopefully someday some of your grandness will trickle down upon me... Your blogs are the most awesome of all awesomeness.

Bee said...

You gotta click it before you kick it!

*click*

Suzanne said...

Thanks for coming to the discussion today, Elastic! You are so much fun and I'm glad you were there! :D

jams o donnell said...

So many wards and all well deserved Ewbl!

btw, what IS a tater tot?

Radioactive Jam said...

I think it was more a choice between schmoozy and doozy. Either way, it and the other awards you noted are well-deserved to say the least.
;-)

Johnna Cornett said...

Hey, Elastic Waistband Lady, you r0x0r! You're going to have to upgrade those shelves to plywood to bear the weight of all these awards.

Thank you again for all your stretchy cheese awesomeness. Yay Cheese! Please forgive me for my long quiet lurking.

I'll get to work on some sort of Segullah image you can put in your column, should you so favor it.

Johnna said...

not all LDS women are Work And The Glory-quoting, Tater Tot Casserole-toting scrapbookers- Not that there's anything wrong with that. Some of us are a little bit 'quirkier' than the status quo, but we love our religion just as much.

awesome.

'segullah' is Hebrew for 'peculiar treasure,' btw. sometimes that works for me on A LOT of levels.

Dis Organized said...

Hey, it reassures me to hear I'm not the only Barney-rotted blogger who thinks occasionally of quitting who is only kept on by the people who flatter my ego, and let me add

DONT QUIT.

but please consider, can the cool tunes default to silence? I'm getting caught reading you at work--and my children are catching me reading you in the kitchen when I should be making Mexican Casserole.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

johnna!- As you can see I'm not shy about sidebar bling. I'd love to have a Segullah linkie banner to add to the collection!

Peculiar treasure.............I'd like to make a peculiar treasure map out of macaroni and dryer lint.

dis organized- Where's your blog link??!? Okay, Barney. See, I have a brother that was born when I was 15. I've suffered through Barney not once, but twice!!! You'd think I would have built up immunity, but no. I do, however, lurve me some Wiggles. HAWT! I've even had an erotic dream about Greg Wiggle. He really CAN point his fingers and do the twist at the same time along with a few other tricks....

The music, yes, well just leave your computer on mute. I think I can do no wrong in the music department because I'm a music snob. I love my selections--other blogger's music? Not so much. So, I know to just have it muted or turned down.

Johnna said...

elasticwaistbandlady, you inspire me in so many ways. Starting with the creation of this super-secret page with your bling on it.

http://segullah.org/blogs_sampler_graphics.html

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Ooooh, Must. Follow. The. Radiant. Bling. Shine.

Helpless. To. Control. Myself.

Thanks johnna!

Johnna said...

I+write+the+blogs+that+make+the+whole_world+scream!?

you are an unstoppable genius.