Friday, November 02, 2007

Your Halloween Candies Are Belonging To Us!

It was a Halloween night of terror.....a night when the donuts rose up and walked among us next to boogers the size of 10 year old boys and singing, dancing vampires........Sounds like some kind of misfit musical that not even Andrew Lloyd Webber would produce, doesn't it?
I totally ripped off borrowed Tori's snotty costume idea for my son. Buster both thrilled and grossed the crowds out with his 'Booger On A Kleenex' disguise. It ain't easy being green! A select few even got showered with his potent green Silly String mucous as he sneezed on them. I begged NCS to make me this awesome rubber chicken graphic to complete my costume as an official Rubber Chicken Factory Inspector. I had an apron stuffed full of rubber chickens, latex gloves, protective goggles, and a Du-Rag.
Here's a riddle for you: How Many Infidels Does It Take To Tie A Du-Rag?
Answer: Three. And we still didn't get that confounded piece of polyester on correctly.
Hey, those things don't come with instructions or anything. And now I know that sadly, I'll never lead the ghetto-fabulous lifestyle since I'm in desperate need of a special Du-Rag Tutorial Class....Du-Rags For Dummies.

My Caterpillar got the most comments for her sprinklelicious donut costume. Or DOUGHNUT, for you pastry purists out there. I don't have time to type out an extra 3 letters. I'm busy, okay? We've decided to make her our official Infidel family mascot! And the filling inside that donut is unarguably the sweetest part although there's something a little bit squicky about grown men telling your young daughter that she looks "yummy." We heard a lot of that. :0 Sunbum masqueraded as the World's First Vampire Elvis Impersonator. She's the pride of Transylvania and can be seen in a weekly revue onstage at the Transylvanian Holiday Inn. Bring a friend and get your Van Helsing Chicken Fried Steak Platter half-price!

Here's my little booty-grabbing crew after a long and productive night plundering the candy supplies of all the Infidel neighbors. Uh-huh. BOOTY-GRABBERS. Candy Booty, that is.

Next year I'm going to make blindingly-yellow smiley faces out of circular cardboards and we'll just go as The Smiling Infidel Family.

27 comments:

carronin said...

Your Booger On A Kleenex, Pink frosted donut and Elvis Vampire puts my Pirate, Kip, and Obi wan Kenobi to shame.

Next year I'm coming to you for costume ideas.

Official Rubber Chicken Factory Inspector. Hilarious and fabulous.

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

What? No serial killer? That's it. The Ghost of Halloween Past will now come to haunt you.

I wanna see Arugula's bacon pants, don't you?

elasticwaistbandlady said...

I've already seen Arugula's SPAM loincloth. Isn't that torture enough?

Carronin- My Miss Mormon Mom Monthly centerfold idea was shot down by Papi. :( I had a T-shirt with a bunny on it and a fancy MISS MORMON MOM NOVEMBER 2007 sash and everything. Some people are no fun whatsoever.

Jennifer B. said...

So clever. So cute.

Glad the Infidel clan had fun.

Nancy Face said...

I love your Mini-Infidels and their great costumes! And your chicken factory inspector, yahoo! Your creativity is AWESOME, and these cute pictures just make me happy! :D

Boogers are cool.

glittersmama said...

Yeah. Definitely have to wonder about grown men saying that a little girl looks yummy. Even if she does look like the best donut ever.

Lisa said...

Look how creative you are. You made 7 costumes and they are all a hit! I'm an infidel wannabe!

compulsive writer said...

Totally awesome. And not in the freakishly Dell Computer Dude way. You're amazing!

Lauren said...

Ewww...I would die if a man told me I looked yummy...even if I dressed up as chimichanga! Her costume is amazin'!

You are so creative, I love all of the costumes.

Jean Knee said...

those costumes make the grade!

they really are all cute and so varied

don't tell, I like the donut the best

Bee said...

My favorite is Vampire Elvis of course!!
I have a faulty rubber here I need inspectin'!

Oh! So embarrased [blushing] I left out the word "chicken"! Sorry I meant "rubber chicken"

clix!

No Cool Story said...

Teh Infidel has done it again.
Those came out great, you are so creative! :D See? you don't need to be a scrapbooker to be creative.
I love love love the donut!

Tori :) said...

You stole my booger idea so I shall steal your donut idea for next year. I love it!

aubrey said...

booty grabbers. giggle.
ava was browsing the hallmark e-cards this week and opened up a pirate booty birthday greeting and was horrified to see some actual pirate BOOTY. poor girl. she kept saying, "that is BAD. i saw his BUM."

you are supermom..all those costumes. complete with a bite out of the donut. sprinkled donuts are my fave. yum..

Jean Knee said...

uhmmm, I didn't get no booty for Halloween

Theoretical Grammatarian said...

Fantastic! As much as I love donuts, I'm going to have to vote for the vampire Elvis as my favorite, because I love vampires and I love Elvis, and the idea of Dracula shaking his hips and saying, "Thank you, thank you very much" after sucking your blood gives me the giggles!

jams o donnell said...

Haha great costumes. I love vampire elvis but a booger on a tissue.. Brilliant! We got very few trick or treaters this year which was good.. we had lots of Maltesers and milky ways to scoff!

Lauren said...

The title of your blog makes me think of:

"All your base are belong to us"

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

I wanna get rich and pass out money like on the Powerball commercial.

Blackeyedsue said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
jedimacfan said...

I love the rubber chicken inspector costume. Very funny.

Sketchy said...

You are an awesome costume worker, did you know?

Bee said...

I'm still waiting for that rubber to inspect his chicken.

I've got a million of 'em!

No, not really maybe 2 more...

**click from work**

Melissa said...

Those are awesome! You're the best rubber chicken inspector I've ever seen :)

nora.lakehurst said...

Ok I will have to convince my little boogers of my own to be one for halloween next year that is so awesome. Your little ones LOOK great I cant believe they are so big. You dont look that old ;).

And I am not going to give up blogging just takin a little break maybe a little too long for some people but not alot of peeps come so yeah I dont have to worry about it. I think yours is hillarious when I read it I have to go potty right after.

Lia said...

Did you really send a donut trick-or-treating? Somehow, that strikes me as wrong. Or funny.

Johnna said...

Definitely the most brilliant halloween costumes I saw or didn't see this year. you win.