This week we've focused in on
Baby, I think tonight we can TAPE what was wrong and make it right.....
So TAPE these broken wings.....
And learn to fly again, learn to live so freeeeee.....
Oh, TAAAPPPPE these broken wings.........(Notice I left out the stomach-churning line about the "flesh and blood that makes us whole" because I do have some sort of decency standards)
Disclaimer:
*This was an Infidel Freak Secret Of The Week dramatization done by professional winged maxi-pad handlers. Do not attempt this at home. Usage of actual broken/taped winged products may result in pain and discomfort much like listening to Winger's Greatest Hits. Wearing of the product shown above also causes unexpected pulling and tugging symptoms linked to involuntary bikini line baldness.*
The napkins are always sanitary at humor-blogs.com
46 comments:
FIRST!
And ew.
Second!
And its not as gross as Elizabeth W.'s singing of Peter Gabriel's song 'Your Eyes' as 'Your Thighs.' Yeah, that's infinitely more funny........and disgusting.
I like the sunglasses in an attempt at anonymity.
The sunglasses weren't for anonymity........it was to add to the inherent coolness factor that comes from flapping around a sanitary napkin and pretending its a giant white butterfly.
I can't stop laughing! :D
The tears are running down my FACE!
I'm with Nancyface... laughing too hard to type. You need to put some type of warning on these posts... Something like "Do not read while holding a sleeping baby" or "Do not read while eating or drinking unless you want a mess on your keyboard". I'm just sayin'.
I love all things sanitary, napkins included.
I hate those wings and always rip them right off because they pull the strings that bind you and I don't like bald muffs
it's a true love/hate relationship
Now, this post was not at all funny. I did not almost send coffee thur my nose and hurt my thorat in the process. I was not just a little bit disgusted and therefore laughing nervously!
I see you've put in your application to participate in the wet T-shirt contest over at humor-blogs. Wow! I'll vote for you to win.
jean knee:
"bald muffs" BWAHAHAHAHAHA! New Band name?
I've been clicking and clicking without being able to go on humor blogs from here, anybody else having difficulties?
THANK YOU for doing such a great job, mocking such a retarded song. I seriously have issues with it and you have taken it to this whole other place! Hooray!
So, what did you bribe the kid with, to get her to pose for that picture? :)
Ummm...I feel funny.
LOL!! Can you do one using the Instead Cup?? ;)
man, i'm out of it. i thought that was a diaper. i don't know how. i just did.
and bee-i can't get to humorblogs either.
You did it! You saved those broken wings.
My favorite is still "Every time you go away, you take a piece of meat with you."
That James Franco pic was originally from my review of Spider-Man 3, btw, which completely blew. The movie, not my review. The review rocked. I'd give you a link but I'm lazy.
...in your thighs I am complete....
I thought it was a diaper, too.
I feel bad for Omar--I think maybe some blog posts should have a warning:
Men--this post has things you may not want to know about-girly things-enter at your own risk!!
You. Make. Me. LAUGH!!!
You guys are just waaaaay to creative!
Just when I thought.....you go and do it again! You crack me up!
How totally.. um... absorbing!
Hi Hilary!
I'm still working and running in and out of the house today but I'll be checking up on you all soon.
By the way, I most certainly did NOT have to bribe my kid to pose with the pad. She considers it an an audition practice to one day be the smiling face of Kotex feminine products. I'm raising my daughters to dream and dream BIG!
Ah the make do and mend aproach is to be commended, Ewbl but wearing the repaired one is on par with listening to Winger??? This is one time I am most definitely glad to be male!
When my little brother was like 7, the commercial for THAT maxi-pad was on TV. Whenever they would happen to show up during our afternoon cartoon watching on FOX, I would usually change the channel or get him distracted. That day, I was at a loss for any reasonable conversation and his big blue eyes stared mindlessly at the screen. Just as I thought, "He isn't really paying attention," he said with great concern, "STM, what is it and why does it have wings??????"
I just downloaded Mr. Mister's
"Kyrie." What does that mean anyway? I used to think that song "Hungry Eyes" was "Your Green Eyes." Really. I've got, you're green eyes . . . one look at you and I can't diguise. . . . ONE LOOK AT YOU AND I'M RUNNING AWAY TOTALLY REPULSED BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO EYES is more like it.
I think you should do this to a variety of 80's tunes for your next few blogs--absoultely hillarious.
-Murphy
BIKINI LINE BALDNESS! oooo, a free option to bikini waxing. Hmm, interesting.
I was so amused I actually snorted. True story.
I just coughed up a lung while trying to laugh. That's what happens when you have a cold and you read awesome blogs.
I feel like singing, "Only Youuuu... can make...this song seem wronnng"
I'm never going to be able to ride in an elevator with that being warbled in the background without laughing to myself and looking around to see if anyone else it. People already think I"m a bit unbalance - thanks a lot!
lol
You know I really wasn't expecting that. I don't think I can hear that song in quite the same way ever again.
I love how Hilary's comment matches her profile picture. You can just imagine her saying that.
This is one goes in the Infidel Solid Gold Hall of Fame.
Only you, my friend. Only you.
And I thought I was giving my kid some stories to tell about their childhood when I told them this morning that they have microchips in their head that are about to explode. Your daughter will someday repeat the story of how you had her pose with maxi-pads. Either way, we are both getting Cuckoo Mom awards.
"Kyrie" is Latin, by the way. We had to sing Latin stuff in high school choir and I always felt so high and mighty when that song came out and knew what Kyrie Eleison meant. Of course I can't spell it...
I had a naughty dream about Tom Cruise last night. Am I a traitor???
When I was in high school my friends re-wrote the Beatles Yesterday as “Leprosy, I’m not half the man I used to be, all my parts are falling off of me, oh I believe I have leprosy.”
Those wings always stick to my legs... stupid wings.
Millie-Last spring Don and I were singing that song Kyrie while driving across CA. I said what does that mean anyway?! So he googled it and now I know...but I forgot..I remember the jist.
I love that when I click on your blog, Elastic, that the first thing I see is a sanitary pad! LOVE IT!
Infidel Solid Gold Hall of Fame!!
COMEDY GOLD!
Coolness factor up by 1000000%
Welcome to the Infidel Revolution!
Instead Cup, word my twin!
Oh yeah, the Instead Cup...
Memories are made of this. :)
Now I can't WAIT for that song to come on the radio. I'll be smiling and doing little flap-flap-flap motions with my hands.
...by the way, until just recently, my mother-in-law thought that Enya, in the song "Sail Away" was singing "Save a Whale."
save a whale, save a whale, save a whale!
save a whale, save a whale, save a whale!
Has a nice ring to it.
You younguns gots it easy. Back in my day we didn't have no pads with sticky stuff on it. We only had corn cobs to do the job. We also didn't have no white pants either. Shame on you, elastic, your granny is probably rolling over in her grave to sees you wasting a perfectly good feminine napkin this way. Wastefulness is a sin.
You just officially ruined that song for me. Thanks. Oh, the images that will now appear.
Kinda like when I was in the car with my friend Jason many years ago and Barry M. came on. "Is he singing about DATE RAPE?" I asked.
Turns out it was Daybreak. I'm sure the song will never be the same again for him....
Hahahahahahaha.
"I'm raising my daughters to dream and dream BIG!" Well that was a rather large napkin. I haven't seen one that size in a long time.
HAHAHAH Involuntary bikini line baldness. That was hilarious. Now I know what to do when I find myself lacking wings.
I wonder how well duct tape works?
Right after Pretty Woman was a big hit and everybody was singing It must have been love (Roxette), friend and I spoofed it to Lay a Whisper (brand name of a pad available here) on my pillow, feel the wind break on the ground hahahaha from there it was but a step away to Phil Collins Groovy Kind of Love which we changed to When I'm feeling blue all I have to do is go and make sousou! hahaha
I love this Broken Wings version and Leprosy, am gonna call up friend and tell him about it!
.....................................bwa hahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaha, ough !!!!!!!!!!!! u r funny dude, u make me laugh till my stomach had a kram
OMG, Laughing so very hard!
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