I used to have these struggles with nagging doubts and internal conflicts that manifested itself as little outward appendages of my conscience. On my right shoulder lay the voice of goodness and righteous clarity- while the left shoulder harbored the force of darkness who often whispered to me that it was okay to do naughty things like pretend I can't hear Papi when he's in the bathroom frantically yelling that there isn't any more toilet paper or silently wishing that the person giving the never-ending prayer in a church meeting would contract sudden laryngitis and finally sit down and shut up. Anyway, my turmoil has ceased since I had the Little Devil and Little Angel surgically removed from my shoulders....
and replaced them instead with the non-judgmental and perpetually smiling, Little Debbie.
What??!!? What's that you say Little Debbie? Speak up, I'm having a hard time hearing you. Oh, you think I should have another oatmeal cream sandwich cookie? How can I possibly say no to your cherubic self, Little Debbie?
*humor-blogs.com wrote the Little Debbie biography wherein they expose how she turned her inner demons into Devil's Food Snack Cakes*