Monday, March 31, 2008

Because I'm Chick Pea-sy.....Chick Pea-sy On Sunday Morning

Well hello there, foodie friends!

Are you looking for the perfect snack to complement your luxuriantly peaceful weekends? If so, I can attest that you need to stay far, far away from the combination of Zesty Garlic Hummus dip and Baked Pita Chips. Even if the deafening sounds of crunchy crunchiness doesn't completely shatter your Sunday solace, the gastrointestinal aftermath that follows, surely will.
Listen to my Infidel admonition....... BEWARE THE LEGUMES!

Without going into too much detail, let's just say that if this flavorful duo was listed on a restaurant menu they would entitle it The Rudie-Pooty-Ripe-N-Tooty special. Oh great and holy frijole in the sky, me and the mini-Infidels did partake of the sinful hummus among us and spent the rest of the day toddling around like walking/talking Whoopee Cushions. We were deathly afraid to hug one another. :(

I talked to Carrot Jello last night because Papi said that she needs advance warning on the care of feeding of Elastic for when I visit her this summer. Rule number one: Under NO circumstance should you feed Elastic, hummus--especially after midnight because she'll wake up the whole house. Seriously, if I would have been strapped into one of those contraction monitors yesterday I could have visually seen the dramatic spikes charting across the screen with every bowel-ripping rumble. I'm not even sure that a contraction monitor has the capability of accurately recording the abdominal pressure that was going on......a Richter Scale would have proved far more useful.

Father Al Gore should focus his panic-riddled environmental agenda on the investigation and subsequent banning of hummus. Obviously hummus farts is contributory to widespread global warming and must be stopped!


CLIKETY HERE to support renewable energy credits based solely on harnessing the powerful force of hummus flatulence. Yeah, it may contradict the last sentence in this post but being contradictory is what Father Al Gore is all about.
Humor-Blogs.com

20 comments:

Hey It's Di said...

Yep! You have me soiled. . er I mean sold! There are enough food items that cause my household to rumble and adding something more would just be wrong! (and quite frankly gross!)

Al Gore would freak at the gases being omitted into the ozone layer that come from things like hummus farts! I think that Carrot should feed you some just for sheer entertainment:)

Shieldmaiden96 said...

I love hummus so much I think I'd eat it even if it caused me similar side-effects. It makes my babycarrots sing.

VE said...

Do you have to be naked to eat these?

glittersmama said...

I love hummus. I don't have that problem. I think that hummus should be banned from the party house.

Bee said...

Um... I think it's spelled with an "S" sharting.

Lauren said...

HAHA! I never even knew what hummus was made of. I think someone told me it was made of poop in junior high and have believed it ever since! Not only was this blog hilarious, it was informative to boot!

aubrey said...

i love hummus and pita chips. and have never had that problem. though i'm with gm, hummus should definitely banned from the party house if that is your reaction to it.

Elizabeth-W said...

Oh I love that snack! I make hummus a lot. I like a bit of roasted red pepper in mine, too.
In fact, I bought the fixins for some at the store today.
Tonight for dinner we're having sweet potato black bean burritos. Rrrrriiippp!

Carrot Jello said...

Darn, there goes my menu while you're here. We were going to have "all hummus all the time" week. Hmmm, how about sauerkraut?

Tracy said...

Hey you know, I was watching a farm show and this guy ran his whole farm off of cow farts. He heated his house, ran the electric. Everything off of cow farts.
Now we would be able to heat our own houses by eating hummus.
You deserve an award!

damon said...

I don't even know what hummus is.
But thanks for the heads up. The LAST thing my kids need is another reason to pull daddys finger!

Nancy Face said...

The Face family likes to joke that EVERYTHING makes me fart. Unfortunately for them, it's no joke...it's the truth! :0

I have never tasted hummus in my entire life. When I decide to do so, my family should be afraid.

Very, VERRRY afraid.

Jean Knee said...

save that hummus for entertaining annoying guests or in-laws. keeps the visit short and sweet.

Marie said...

OMG that is one of my favorite snacks! And it doesn't have that effect on me. Maybe I've just developed an immunity?

Lisa said...

Mmmmm, Hummus. Yeah, well, there is always some of that rooty tooty going on around here, too. I'm not blaming anyone in particular, but lets just say it was pretty quiet for 3 weeks while Don was in China.

BarnGoddess said...

why is it you can post about farting and I can laugh like a loon???

oh, because I can appreciate gas humor because I have a husband and 2 boys who love to fart :)

good post!

Rebecca said...

I'd bet that they didn't soak the beans long enough.

I'd also bet that you bought those chips because they have the word "naked" in them.

the frogster said...

I prefer baba ganoosh. Baba ginouche. Baba gynooshe.

All right, I like hummus.

Melissa said...

My oldest freaked out the first time we bought hummas... he thought it said "humans"...

jams o donnell said...

LOL EWBL. The not wife being vegan means we eat a fair bit of hummous and other wonderful carminatives. On a good day it sounds like duelling tubas here!