How do I know that Kitchen-Aid has gone Commie on us? Well in addition to their bright red corporate logo lettering, Sunbum and I spotted these disturbing anti-religious stickers adorning their floor sample models.
Yes, it reads: DO NOT IMMERSE IN WATER
That's sad, really, because without immersion how can this stand-mixer ever feel truly clean? Sure it has a lifetime guarantee but what good is a life filled with the heartbreak of internal filth?
I can only hope that missionary stand-mixers will find the fortitude to minister unto these floundering flocks; perhaps even convincing them to shed their stickers and become cleansed through the power of immersion.
20 comments:
This post only works if you remember that my faith believes that the only true way to baptize is baptism through immersion. :)
My daughter noticed the stickers first. She's has religious righteousness on the min 24/7!
I do too when I'm not thinking about nachos, saggy bras, SPAM on sale, shooting my neighbor's yappy dog with a BB gun, Wendy's chicken sandwiches, burning down my house for insurance money.......
You can add George Forman grilles to your list too. Same sticker, same evil potential.
clickin for ya, for a hb return?
We need to find out what percentage of your readership is Mo :)
(that's short for Mormon, for all you nomos)
Go eat a Chick Fil A for me...we don't have 'em here :(
Sunbum is so awesome! Is she not?
Ha! I commented on your Blog. Suprised?
I'm double-mo. Mormon and lives in Missouri.
Poor mixer. You see anti-religion sentiment everywhere these days.
No, but they do wonderful immersed in lubricants. Oh wait, I got that all confused with the missionary mixer...
It's good of you to care for the eternal salvation of those steely appliances.
Who does kitchen aid think they are?? Haven't they heard of free agency?
This is fun
I started to watch Cry-Baby with Johnny Depp today but then someone in the movie - Ricki Lake, actually - said a naughty word and I had to turn it off.
(Speaking of things that need to be washed clean)
ha, I got nothing here. must be the prozac
I knew they were evil! I just thought it was because they would require lots of work on my part so I'm glad you cleared things up!
I was going to get all deep about physically clean vs. spiritually clean, but then I read about you shooting a yappy dog with a BB gun and was thinking I might hire you for a few neighbors of mine right after I declared you soul sister.
I guess my Kitchen-Aid will have to join my electric frying pan in the cupboard of outer darkness. I just can't have this going on in my kitchen.
I think the sticker says "Do not remove by penalty of the law". I think they are doomed!
Ah EWBL, I have two other explanations for the sign:
a) it is a catholic appliance and thus only needs a little splash of water as a baby
b) It's a catholic appliance but of the Opus Dei persuasion - in which case baptism entails a wire wool brush and scouring powder!
LOL! That is all. :)
this post makes me want to go and rip off the tag on my new mattress...the one that says DO NOT REMOVE!
Love the new header :D
I love that your daughter is concerned for the welfare of the every day kitchen appliance. It's good to know that she is in the world, but not of the world...
Woman, YOU ARE SO FUNNY! :D
I love the post, I love the comments...I even love my evil unwashed Kitchen-Aid stand mixer...yeah, the one I've had for several years and STILL don't know how to use! :0
No, really, I'm serious!
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