The Immigration Debacle Has Hit Way Too Close To The Infidel Home

Apparently all roads lead to the Infidel backyard for a certain downtrodden undocumented immigrant who elected to escape their festering and blighted homeland in search of a place where they can bring their young to thrive and grow.

Many government officials believe that by simply constructing a border fence you can stem the tide of illegal immigration, but this is simply not true. The ones invading our backyard have thwarted all boundary markers and fencing by cleverly burrowing under to make it to the other side. In some instances the illegals went right through the narrow cracks in the fence in a desperate attempt to survive.

Every year, their numbers swell to greater heights, too. What started as a few rogue travelers has metastasized into an entire colony right in the back corner of the Infidel homestead.

We're a charitable family, so we do make sure to give water to our uninvited guests so that they may better withstand working all day out underneath the blazingly-hot Houston sun. But there's a price for our kindness. We silently watch and wait as their skin grows ever darker. When the time is right we bring them inside....... and then we squeeze them dry.

See, that's the price they pay for coming into our yard with Green Leaves aplenty but no discernible Green Card........


Here's a Sampling Picture Of The Latest Illegal Round-Up On The Infidel Ranch. The Prisoners Are First Detained, Then Questioned, De-Seeded, And Promptly Eaten For Their Trespassing Crimes.

This Is The Virtually Uninhabitable Land Of Their Birth That Lies Yonder From Our Property Into Neighboring Territories. Who Can Really Blame Them For Fleeing This Cluttered Pit In Search Of An Infidel Sanctuary?

Two Years Ago We Encountered A Few Strays Along The Border. They Must Have Gone Back Home And Told Their Families They Found The Promised Land In Our Backyard Because This Year They Stretch From One Fence Post To Another. Their Migratory Pattern Looks Like They're Heading Northwards. I Found A Berry Growing By The Back Door Which Confirmed My Suspicions. Neil Diamond Is Probably Somewhere Encouraging Them By Singing "Everywhere Around The World, Keep Coming To The Infidel. Got A Dream To Take Them There, Keep Coming To The Infidel....TODAY!"

And Here's One Of Our Specially Trained Border Patrol Agents. We Warned Our Agent About Coddling And Handling The Detainees Without Special Protective Gear But She Refused To Listen......

I Guess She'll Just Have To Learn The Hard Way Like I Did That These Suckers Ain't Giving Up Without A Fight!

We Also Have To Contend With This Coyote Who's Determined To Hamper Our Round-Up Efforts By Promising The Trespassers Safe Passage And Then Smuggling Them Away.....In His Mouth!

I'm concerned that I'll face serious repercussions for posting this. I even run the risk of being brought up on double agent charges, but illegal immigration has proved beneficial for us by providing low-cost and flavorful meal supplements. I hope they all return next year!