Saturday, June 21, 2008

My House Is More Ghetto Than Your House: Window Covering Solutions

The Problem:
Our back door is located in the kitchen area and it faces West. The afternoon sun intrusively barges in through the large rectangular windowpanes practically blinding us while we're trying to stuff our faces at meal time. The back door window also lets in too much heat making an already stiflingly hot kitchen just unbearable. Our back door offers a scenic view of the 2-story home behind us whose bored kids constantly sit in their upstairs window watching our house like they're on some sort of Food Patrol surveillance. I think they want to steal my super secret Tater Tot Casserole recipe so they can pass it off as their own and rise to the top of the Mediocre Cooking TV Show circuit.

Another Problem:
We don't exactly have the money for store bought window treatments right now. Yeah I own a sewing machine but I don't know how to measure or follow a pattern so the solution to our window dilemma will have to lie elsewhere.
(Here's my Stef showing the problem back door and how we're constantly 'Blinded By The Light.' At least we've never been "revved up like a deuce!"

In total hot flash frustration and with beads of sweat dotting his upper lip, Papi spied our large ream of crafty paper. He then set about using his genius-and many, many pieces of duct tape- to engineer us a makeshift curtain so exceedingly fine it would make all of Shanty Town weep with envy!

The Final Solution:
Voila! No more solar penetration! (Why does that sound so dirty?) It's also nice not to have our beastly crotch-sniffing wonder dog, Reagan jumping up on the window with his big, pitiful 'Please Sir, May I Have Some More?' face while he watches us eat our dinner.
You won't find tips for making your home Ghetto Fabulousssssss here. However I do offer the finest advice available if you're interested in a Ghetto Practicality mentality. Ching!

16 comments:

Alice said...

When I first moved to the DC area, I had an apartment that let the sun stream into my bedroom at the crack of dawn. I made my own ghetto-fab sun blocker with taped together poster board, in effect making my bedroom a cave. I loved it although I'm sure it was eye-sore-y from the outside. But ya know what, I went to work so I didn't have to look at it.

Elizabeth-W said...

I think it's way better than tin foil, much more attractive.

Jami said...

MY craft paper window curtain is pink. Na-na-na-na-na!

jams o donnell said...

What an excellent idea EWBL, mercifully a cruel sun making our hovel unbearable isn't much of a problem in East London!

JD at I Do Things said...

This looks way better than the newspaper I taped over the small window in our front door to keep the afternoon sun out when I'm watching a movie!

Well done!

Hilary said...

Craft paper covering your windows and no kidlet designs all over them? They need to get cracking! ;)

b. said...

papi did a great job!!

Bee said...

Ha! Great idea! We used to do tin foil too.

Hey It's Di said...

Oh that looks so much more contemporary and chic than the sheet I used. You know, the dirty one with a poop stain on it? Sorry, I made that part up:) But it was still ghetto/trailer trash as can be!

Chell said...

So cool! When I was at my parents place in New Zealand, the sun SCREAMED through the kitchen window.So, I got my HUGE Winnie the Pooh blanket and hung it over :-) Looked like a Pre-school from the outside, but it did the trick!!

Nancy Face said...

Such a lovely 9 pane silhouette! :)

Nancy Face said...

Still haven't eaten that dog?

Oh yeah...food STORAGE.

Suburban Hippie said...

I am pretty sure that I have seen your girls in dresses that you made (at least that is what I heard) if tyou have the ability to sew something that cute then you could for sure sew curtains if you wanted to. I like the paper though.

Physcokity said...

I'm with Hilary...wow...never thought I'd say that in this life time ;)

This is the kind of thing they should put on HGTV. A reality TV show about real people.

Elastic Living
We'll see just how far we can stretch your pants and your dollar.

Physcokity said...

Wow I just read through that comment again, it sounds rude...not intended. I really do admire your sweet skillz in making things work.

Millie said...

Next time, you should draw some scary faces through the windowpanes to scare would-be back door intruders away. Speaking of "Why does that sound so dirty?".

You had to go and get "Blinded By the Light" stuck in my head, didn't you? DIDN'T YOU!!!!