Sunday, July 20, 2008

My Neighbors Are Dirty Swingers

Don't believe me? Just look at this filthy display they've plopped right in the front yard for all the world to see.
Have they no decency? Whatever happened to shame? Did they leave this out in the open as a sort-of invitation for any and all passerbys to join in with them and their dirty swinger lifestyle?

Well, dangit, I want to be a dirty swinger, too! We have more trees than these people do-and I can surely rustle up some sofa cushions, rope, and white duct tape to make my own set of impoverished Third World Neighborhood swings. I may even add some festive ribbons and a cowbell so that mine's fancier than theirs.

Once I get these marvels of the swinging industry up and running, I'll invite you all to my Welcome To Swingtown! party. I hope you don't mind dropping your keys into a giant empty pickle jar so that we can play a little swap game called Swinger Switcheroo. I'd like to keep my naughty swinger freak side, satisfied.

23 comments:

Ringmaster said...

How inventive of them. I should join the Swingers also.

Elizabeth-W said...

Now that's just plain sad, folks.

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

I'm sad that you can't clickety on this to make it bigger. I think it's because I took the pic from my truck and I cropped it down to edit out any identifying info. like house numbers.

Really, it's quite a sight to behold. It makes me want to take up a collection to buy them a real swing....or at least a wood plank so they can fashion something better than this monstrosity.

glittersmama said...

Don't sit on that after it rains. ick.

JustRandi said...

Your party sounds like some swingin' fun.
Hey, I'd contribute to a wood plank fund!

Alice said...

I'm in for the swinger's party. Maybe. Depending on what the selection looks like.

Awesome swing. I double dog dare you to out-do that swing in your own yard! I've seen your flip-flops. You have it in you. ; )

Science Teacher Mommy said...

I'm all about more cowbell.

Mindi said...

hey, just this one time won't hurt. everyone is doing it, especially the cool kids. nobody will know....plus i bet your cool justin timberlake keychain would look OFF THE HOOK in that pickle jar......

J-Mom said...

You'll need to out do them and use colored duct tape!

Steve Wild said...

What a 'dirty' trick...swingers are people too!

Mad Libs Millie said...

Is that a piece of dryer hose???

I told you about the presentation I had to give about swingers (real ones) at RICKS COLLEGE, right?

What would Elder Bednar think?

Nancy Face said...

Oh, my! :0

Suzanne said...

So you're feeling like a little dirty swinging, eh? How does your Papi feel about that? ;D

And you WOULD put pretty ribbons on it because you're the Ribbon Queen...just like me! :)

Suzanne said...

LOL at Millie! :D

Physcokity said...

I vote there's no way you won't get a rope indent on your bum cheeks/legs on that swing. Ouch!

Suburban Hippie said...

I always suspected you were that type.

Hey It's Di said...

I'm jealous! They have a tree to swing in! I could try being a swinger but the horror of it all as the neighbors watched gasping! My little tree bending in half and finally breaking:(

You can probably say these swingers were hard up though. They will swing with anything/one. I definitely think you should one up the swinging "Joneses".

Bee said...

Don't do it Elastic! Don't swing with them! It might be a trick. Run... Ruuuuuuuunnnn!

Jami said...

If you have more trees than they do maybe you could a sectional kinda swing. Then you could get LOTS of people swingin' at the same time.

No Cool Story said...

What the heck is that? A diaper?
No, wait, is that a thing of yarn??

Rph Mommy said...

What on earth is that made of? It looks a little disturbing.

Jean Knee said...

are you sure there's not a small body wrapped in there. (shivers)

mona said...

Does anyone live in a subdivision where there are several people who ignore the subdivision rules?
I do. No one is supposed to have those ugly fences on the top of their pools, and it seems that everyone in the sub with a pool has one of those. My neighbor has one, and I have to look at that hideous thing every time I look out my window. Then there is my other neighbor who has three dogs.
The maximum number of dogs is supposed to be two. I wouldn't mind the three, but two of them are pit bulls who viciously snarl and growl and act like they are going
to eat my dog when they are outside. Even the owners scream at them to stop. It is very unnerving. Then one of the board members is delinquent by 3 years on the dues because she has decided she doesn't need to pay since she is on the board. I can't take the neighbors around here. I was looking for a forum to vent about the jerks around here and I came across this site called http://urajerk.com and I sent all of those idiots on the board and all my lovely neighbors with the ugly pools an anonymous card. LOL I loved it. I know it sounds stupid but I feel better. He he he.