Have you heard the news? We're playing host to a very special guest blowing into town tonight for a whirlwind event! Literally.
How big is the party? The entire Gulf Coast region is participating in welcoming Hurricane Ike sometime this evening.
Having just seen Ike practically devour Cuba, we know that he has an enormous appetite, but our hopes remain high that Ike will be too bloated and lethargic from his last meal to do too much damage at our hometown soiree.
By the way, this party is strictly B.Y.O.B......Bring Your Own Boards. I guess it could also mean Bring Your Own OB (tampons), but you can't really cover up windows with tampons. Well, unless you hook them all together and make a super absorbent curtain to accent your white furnishings.
So last night my man, Papi and I were discussing our plans for when Hurricane Ike decides to strike. We've got the food. (I hid my Little Debbie snack cakes in a box of diet bars so my kids wouldn't find them!) We've got the water. We've got new batteries in my very important shaving razor because I don't want to evacuate looking like a Yeti-Human hybrid. We've got gas-pretty much I ALWAYS have gas-so the main Infidel Family survival preparations are already in place.
Papi still seemed a little concerned when we crawled into bed last night and so I did what any loving wife should do. I abruptly and forcefully rolled over, pinning Papi down while uttering these infinitely comforting words of reassurance:
"Papi baby, you don't have to worry about a thing. When the Hurricane hits I'll just get on top of you and shield you from the destruction with my massive body."
Papi closed his eyes. I'm still not sure if that was out of relief......out of sheer terror.......or if it was so he could pray more fervently than he's ever prayed before.
I'd like to dedicate the symphonic version of that Scorpions song, Rock You Like A Hurricane to my classical music-loving Papi. :)