We received the above survey and newsletter from Senator Dan Patrick's office last week. Apparently he expects to live out another 517 years or so while serving in the Senate because he's prognosticating exorbitant property taxes for the year 2525 while discussing what he plans to do about it.
He's like our very own Property Tax Specialist Nostradamus.
That's very comforting to know that us mortal citizens can rely on a political man in command to reduce our wallet-draining Texas property taxes........and it'll only take 517 years for Senator Patrick's big action plan to come to fruition!
Okay, if Texas Senators serve terms spaced out in two-year increments, then Senator Patrick only has to win approximately 258 more elections.
Whoa. I hope his campaign invests in some quality heavy-duty campaign gear and signage because it needs to last a really looooong time.
By the time 2525 rolls around, Senator Patrick will likely be nothing more than a giant dictatorial brain pickled in a super-sized Mason jar like something out of A Wrinkle In Time.
You know the folksy duo, Zager And Evans , prophesied what life would be like in the year 2525. They didn't seem to mention anything about property taxes, though. They instead included lyrical wording like "In The Year 2525, if man is still alive. If woman can survive."
Well, we know at least one man will still be alive in the year 2525 and that man is Senator Dan Patrick!
IN THE YEAR 2525- ZAGER AND EVANS (3:24)
*I couldn't resist writing a short piece of snark on the survey before mailing it back. Honestly, the 2525 wasn't just a singular typo-- 2525 was repeated ALL OVER the page. I theorize that whatever aide or intern that typed this up was probably listening to his Ipod and jamming to this melodious song that discusses a post-apocalyptic world circa 2525. I'm inspired. I'm going to go buy something expensive that costs around $517.00 and then I'm going to finance it for a dollar a year for the next 517 years. Yep. Sounds good to me.*