Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Weird Dream Wednesday

Bad puns are a predatory and invasive species.
I never wanted to tell you of my many afflictions but it's time you all knew the soul-crushing truth......I suffer from TERMINAL SEVERE ACUTE INCURABLE BPS.
Oh, the torturous heartbreak that is BPS: Bad Pun Syndrome.
My BPS symptoms started flaring up again last night, cleverly waiting until I was floating in a dream state with my BPS defense system down.
Blame it on too many doses of Muskrat Love but I endured an entire dream sequence that revolved around not the cheesy 70's superstar duo, Captain and Tennille, but instead their pillowy soft bedspread material counterpart.......The Captain and CHENILLE.
It was horrifyingly real and very upsetting especially since I'm ardently anti-chenille.
I think the chenille manufacturers strategically place conspiratorial musings against the rest of us on their bedspreads using the little puckered dots that's synonymous with chenille.
It reads like Braille so that only blind people can run their hands along the dots and decipher the true secret of the chenille bedspread.
The True Secret of the Chenille Bedspread....sounds like a Nancy Drew novel, doesn't it?
However, because of my sheer determination not to succumb to the ill effects of my BPS disease, I survived the night of BPS mind games.
I must be strong and the next time The Captain and Chenille rears its ugly head I can tell it (Don't) Do That To Me One More Time because not even Love Will Keep Us Together!

11 comments:

Carrot Jello said...

You don't like chenille?
I'd better shop around to find a new bedspread then.

I'm just going to stop there.

Only 1/8 of my brain works this early in the morning.

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

My blind friend rubbed her hand over the chenille bedspread and "read" out the following message:

Chenille is good.....you like chenille......you want to wrap the chenille blankie around you......around your neck.....really, really tightly.....

nora.lakehurst said...

LOL You are so funny. LOVE It!

123 checkoutourfamily said...

hahaha...you crack me up! Dreams are definitely interesting. I can't say I've had a bad pun dream but I've had some weird ones.

I do some pretty cheesy puns sometimes but Matt is still good to laugh.

Jillybean said...

BPS runs in my husbands family. I've recently noticed my children showing signs of BPS.
I'm very afraid, is there anything that can be done about this? Is it too late to help my children??

Nancy Face said...

I recently saw a lime green chenille bedspread in a catalog and kinda wanted it...don't be hatin'! :D

Jean Knee said...

if I were clever I'd have a pun in my comment

Anna Maria Junus said...

Chenille "The Way That I Want to Touch You".

I had a chenille bedspread once. Those little chenillettes didn't survive.

Jennifer B. said...

Happy Birthday!!!

Jean Knee said...

happy birthday one day late :)

Anonymous said...

We also have "Ninja Spork warriors" here in OK, more to follow.