Sunday, August 08, 2010

Do You Have A Special Chocolate-Addicted Alcoholic In Your Life?



Well, here's some exciting news......now there's a beverage that conveniently combines two vices into one wine bottle for maximum gift-giving ease!
I have to admit that ChocoVine has intrigued me since I saw it stocked at our local HEB grocery store last fall.
"Nobody else could understand the secretive forbidden love shared between the coquettish cocoa bean and its sultry wine grape paramour........a torrid romance like theirs hadn't been seen in the commercial world since that slutty peanut butter hussy started sneaking around late at night with a wayward chocolate bar thus resulting in an offspring they named Reese's."
Far be it for me to get all judgmental about the shocking copulation of commodities but:
I predict a sharp increase in workplace consumption of "chocolate milk."
I prognosticate a future where police officers will have a head-scratching mystery before them. Are the days of giving out tickets for underage drinking over? Why have teenagers suddenly become so addicted to "chocolate milk?"
I foresee a spike in revenue for street corner beggars as potential donors sigh and comment about how sweet it is that the hobo has changed his drunken ways to embrace the dairy wholesomeness of "chocolate milk."
Should you spend your last dollar on chocolate or alcohol? Thanks to ChocoVine you'll never have to make this tough choice again.
Thanks ChocoVine! You're clearly ushering in an age of enlightenment never before seen in human history.

4 comments:

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

I personally think that ChocoVino would have rolled off the tongue better than ChocoVine and communicated the same thing.

Need some input regarding your product name? Call me!

Palm Springs Savant said...

I have heard of something like that actually, quite interesting concept, isn't it? Wish I'd of thought of that!

Carrot Jello said...

Just mix some chocolate milk and grape juice together and drink it if you're curious.

jams o donnell said...

wine and choc dring: It sounds perfectly hideous!