Tuesday, August 10, 2010

I'm Really Too Old For This Kind Of Nonsense

Hey, guess what fun madcap adventure I had last night?
Absolutely exhausted, I collapsed onto my bed with a big gnarly wad of minty fresh Eclipse gum still wedged into my mouth.
Hey, guess what fun madcap adventures I had this morning?
I got to dutifully scrape gum off my pillowcase. And my nightstand. And in between my fingers where the gum fused together in a webbed pattern rendering me into the likeness of a severely malformed platypus. There was also remnants of chewed and fragmented gum strewn across the fleshy wasteland of my lower neck area.
Apparently, minty fresh Eclipse gum is a nomadic wanderer with a nocturnal streak. It just wasn't content to take up permanent habitation in my cavernous Infidel mouth.
So, if I followed that wise old proverb and let the gum go but it still chose to stay fairly close to me does that mean the gum truly loves me?
I wonder if the Double Mint twins ever had these problems?


Carrot Jello said...

You could become the first human lint roller.
Just roll around the floor and try it.
I bet you could pick up some serious carpet lint that way.
Hmmm, maybe I'll sleep with gum in my mouth tonight. My vacuums broken.

Carrot Jello said...

If you love something, set it free; if it comes back it's yours, if it doesn't, it never was.
So it doesn't necessarily love you. It just means it's yours.

Nancy Face said...


I've fallen asleep on multiple occasions while sucking on hard candies. Surprisingly I'm not even dead and stuff.

123 checkoutourfamily said...

hahaha...funny clipart. I'd use it to try to persuade Brayden from swallowing gum(which he does periodically...while awake) but he might think it's cool.

Super Happy Girl said...

You are one wild and crazy woman!! A party animal!

nikko said...