Wednesday, November 10, 2010

The Smiling Infidel Is Your Guide To Deviant Geology



I
t's of vital importance to learn something new each and every day. Today, the mini-Infidels learned of a magical body of water situated between Peru and Bolivia and bearing a majestically regal name......LAKE TITICACA! Reportedly the names Lake Boobycrap and Lake Tatapoo were already taken. Interesting to note that this could possibly be the place where Lola and Tony danced their last at the Titi.....Titicaca......stupid 70's censors changing Titicaca to Copacabana.

I recently became intimately acquainted with several variations of schist. I touched schist with my bare hands in the Geology lab and I was like "Oh SCHIST.....I got schist all over my hands!" I then told my lab partner that I thought he was the "SCHIST." Not surprisingly I had to study a lot of schist for my test. Schist, I can't wait for this semester to be over. This schist's too hard.....even though I am full of schist most of the time.
This be SHALE. Sentences uttered by me during the course of the class rock practical:
  • "Oh SHALE no!"
  • "What the SHALE?"
  • "Yeah? Well you can just go to SHALE!"
Nobody is clamoring to be my Geology lab partner. I'm not really sure what the SHALE is going on with that. :(

This is a diagram of an AQUITARD. It's politically incorrect to say this but........ you know Clay? Yeah, it's true, Clay is a total aquitard! Remember shale? Shale is one of the biggest aquitards around! "You Might Be An Aquitard.........." That's going to be my signature routine when I hit the Geology standup comedy circuit. Will you be there to see me and cheer for me? No? Pssssshhhhhh, you're such a freakin' AQUITARD!
*****I'm the oldest student by far in this class filled with impressionable youngins. We have to use hydrochloric acid a lot in Geology. I told my teenage lab partner that now he can tell his friends that he was looking at cleavage, dropping acid, and rocking out at school. His horrified expression was priceless.*****

9 comments:

Carrot Jello said...

I have no geology puns, I'm sorry.
I just wanted to say,
I love you like a rock.

cw said...

I love puns. That is all.

Elizabeth-W said...

http://shop.cafepress.com/Geologist?cmp=fb_Geologist&utm_medium=display&utm_source=facebook

Jean Knee said...

Oh shale shcist I'll be your lab partner.



so?

Nancy Face said...

Craziest non-profanity around! :D

Nancy Face said...

LAKE BOOBYCRAP?

Hahahahahaha!

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

Hey, so how many of you are going to join the Geology Deviants Society?

elizabeth w: That merchandise totally ROCKED! I'm disappointed though to see that I'm not all that witty because every single one of my Geology jokes are represented there.

Elizabeth-W said...

It's not that you're not witty. It's just that you're late to the geology humor party. :D
NObody questions your wit!

Super Happy Girl said...

En el lago Titicaca
Tengo ganas de....

Nah, I am not going to do it Elastic!!!