Have you ever uttered a phrase out loud and regretted it almost immediately? Do you still find yourself obsessing and feeling embarrassed by past vocal outbursts, even though the incident happened years ago, and nobody else remembers nor cares except you?
No? Well then, congratulations you infallible model of human perfection. You are hereby barred from this blog from now until eternity. Scamper along now and go hang out with the "cool" people, this just isn't the place for you.
If you answered, YES!!! You are my kind of dorkus maximus homosapiens!
So, I was in the Junior High Band. I "played" the clarinet. Played is a very loose term here. Mercifully, I never performed wretched enough to place last chair but I knew my rightful place would always rest in the second to last chair position. Thank you Mr. Tracy for being a suckier clarinet player than me. Yes, we should always be thankful for our blessings.
I became friends with an incredible alto-saxophone player named Don. We hung out together, joked, ate lunch, etc. The school held a Spring Band concert event and he was selected to play a solo piece. The theme to the T.V. female crime solving detective show, 'Cagney and Lacey', which is pretty challenging for a 7th grader. Don was superb! I remember vividly that he played it without error and roused the crowd to a standing ovation.
The next day at school I see him walking down the hall and I couldn't contain my excitement. I bellowed at the top of my lungs, "Wow, Don, you were so amazing last night!".
Immediately, I heard the dreaded sound of snarky middle schoolers snickering and pointing in my direction. Don was blushing feverishly and shifting around kind of nervously. I'm no Puritan but I didn't see that I said anything wrong until my more, ummm, 'progressive', friend, Andrea, explained the unintended double entendre. Horrifying and mortifying to say the least. Don kept his distance from me for the rest of our Junior High days lest we give the kids more gossipy ammunition. How can middle school children turn an innocent remark of praise into something tawdry and sexual? Somewhere, Dr.Freud is smiling that his philosophy has proven itself true once more.
By the way, the name of the Junior High is Wunderlich. When my husband, Papi and I first married we lived on Wunderlich Road and my goodness the misspellings on our mail were abundant. My favorite by far though was, wonder lick. Hard to decide there, lollipop company owned by Wonder bread, or stamp collector fetish porn?
4 comments:
AFTER READING YOUR PREVIOUS BLOG AND UNDERSTANDING WHERE THE QUICK STORED "BARBA OF WIT" COME FROM AND THE NREADING THIS BLOG.....I NOW KNOW WHERE IT STARTED (THE STORED HUMOR) IT'S FROM 7 TH GRADE AND IF THAT HAD NOT HAPPENED ALL THOSE YEARS AGO...WOULD YOU BE YOU TODAY??
Hey! You're awesome! I say stuff like that all the time, but on purpose and knowing full well what innuendos could be drawn from it! My wife likes the Smiths. I personally don't, I like to make fun of Morissey to bug my wife, but I do like Death of a Disco Dancer, Strangeways...(album), and louder than bombs. But you know, I wore my hair like Robert Smith in High School and worshipped the Cure. My heart beateth hypocrisy...We live in houston also...kind of...
It wasn't a phase (ministry, etc.). It was a sound I've never heard before and I loved it ever since. I never was goth, but I loved the goth ladies; I guess I had control issues with sexy vampiresses (or vampiressi?). So what's it like having 6 kids instead of 3, asides from the $ part?
Louis, you are my inspiration and dare I say the wind beneath my wings! Having six kids is difficult because you're never alone. Having six kids is nice because you're never alone. That was profound, maybe I'll pen a book about raising a large family!
Oh, you heathen miss biotech, laughing at other's misery. Ask Mitzu about karma and reincarnation. You laughing at me just secured yourself a next life as a dung beetle! Isn't it true though that people horribly mangle the name, Wunderlich?
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