My wonderful, considerate, manly husband, Papi, informed me this morning that he lost his toothbrush a few days ago. Papi is a very upstanding individual with good personal hygeine skills, so I hesitantly asked him what he had been using the past few days to brush his teeth. Papi told me, "Oh, a purple one that was on the counter". Immediately, I screamed out, "NOOOOOOOOO, how could you"? Papi just laughed.
This is the question. Why is it that I have been married to this man for 11 years and the thought of him using my toothbrush is grossing me out?
I mean, we do make out and swap germ-teeming saliva back and forth. Sorry MOM if you're reading this, but I lied, NO, our kids were not all the product of immaculate conception like I told you. Don't you think that there comes a point in marriage that you want to modify your vows and not have to share everything, for heaven's sake?
4 comments:
I don't understand it either. But if my husband drinks out of my cup I have to get a new one. (Sshhh, sometimes I use his deodorant though, after picking out the man armpit hairs, of course.)
I'm lauging at the phrase, 'picking out the man armpit hairs'.
Miss Biotech, You are so right about the mystery part. I recall having anxiety attacks when I thought about being married because I didn't want my husband to know that I have bowel movements or did anything disgusting or unfeminine.
My, how very far I have fallen. We hold entire conversations while seated on the toilet, we regularly try to out burp or out fart each other, and he has seen me tweezing, but somehow I still regard my toothbrush as sacred territory.
I've reached a milestone indeed. Hey, mormon family man, that might make for a funny T-shirt!
"You have reached a milestone, Mrs. Infidel."
Thinking of that quote made me LOL all night. Now, I don't use the acronym LOL lightly you know, only if I am actually laughing out loud. After all, I may be a heathen but at least I'm an honest heathen.
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