Flowers and candy are the Valentine’s presents of an uncreative mind. What better way to show love than providing the touted prevention and cure for the dastardly avian flu? We are bestowing upon you the timeless gift of sauerkraut because we really care about YOU.
Just last month our household thwarted the flu. I started hearing an intense ringing in my ears that sounded like irritating polka music and had to fight the uncontrollable urge to flap my arms and clap my hands. Turns out it was the nefarious CHICKEN DANCE FLU. A jar of sauerkraut cleared it right up though. So, we are the living embodiment that sauerkraut will ward off ALL the various types of bird flu. What a close call that was! For more scientific proof of the virtues of sauerkraut go to http://www.biopeer.com/biopeer/2005/11/sauerkrautpossi.html
I'm not only The Smiling Infidel but I also double as the Valentine's Fairy delivering acidic cabbage to all the good little boys and girls throughout the land. Please note that we only use 'Bush's Best' Sauerkraut as opposed to 'Bush's Worst'.
For those of you that I missed, you either:
a)Live too far away to drop off a gift
b) Wouldn't give me your address for security reasons
c) Last on my list and I already ran out of sauerkraut budget money
d) Not worthy of such a spectacular gift
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY ANYWAY!
Consider this a lovely virtual version and know that The Smiling Infidel is sending you a shout out with much love!
5 comments:
I feel truly loved. I will have to hold my husband off from eating the Sauerkraut with a spoon straight from the jar. Or we might just have to have your entire family over for Bratworst (how does one who is not german spell german things?)--otherwise this very large jar might be here until the Milenium. Thank you for including us--we love you guys!
Hey Emma, When the kids ask me, "What are we having dinner?", and I answer, "BRATS", they scatter and run thus giving me some glorious personal time.
Miss Biotech, All those ads about buying a special and 'unique' gift for Valentine's Day offered boring ideas like jewelry. I'm willing to wager that nobody gave out jars of sauerkraut with beautiful curly bows attached. How lucky for you, that you're one of the selected few recipients.
I just happened upon your blog today and my sides are hurting from laughing so much!
Your family is adoreable! What a blessed mom you are. Thanks for sharing your witty stories!
Hey mimo!
Your glowing testimonial has won you automatic acceptance into the exclusive membership of The Smiling Infidel.
You missed out on our fabulous sauerkraut promotion but you're still entitled to all the free laughs you can gather.
Thanks for stopping by!
Woo Hoo! Thanks for the warm welcome! I'll take all the laughs I can get.
Well, rats! I'm really sad about missing out on saurkraut. Wow, lucky friends you have, to have you care so much about them in these uncertain times of bird pandemics. Maybe someday they'll find out lutefisk cures some disease and I could be in line for that.
Until that day comes, I'll just take the laughter as medicine. :)
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