Friday, March 17, 2006

Chronicles of Appalling Parenting: Chapter 1

While traveling to the grocery store the other day, the digital display on my XM radio read, 'BOOGIE FEVER'. My 6 year old daughter, Caterpillar, furrowed her brow, and asked me, "Mommy, what's BOOGIE FEVER"? I used this moment as a golden opportunity to try and quell the insidiously grotesque habit of my toddlers and I replied to her, "BOOGIE FEVER comes from picking and eating your own boogers, and it makes you really sick. So you really shouldn't do that or you'll contract a severe case of BOOGIE FEVER for sure". My 4 year old had huge eyes at this information. Poor thing, now he thinks he's going to die from BOOGIE FEVER.

Anyways, kids grow up so fast, make sure to include lots of teachable moments with them every chance you get. One day my older children just might discover the cure to BOOGIE FEVER, and we will rejoice with gladness in our hearts. My ample bosom swells with pride thinking of their future potential.

7 comments:

Humour and last laugh said...

interesting!

Humour and last laugh said...

thanks for calling back and differing. I love it when I am proven wrong. I am not sure about what I really believe. I just try to explore. Which at times make me meet with interesting people like you. Are you really mothering five children?

Humour and last laugh said...

oops.. it were six.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

miss biotech, isn't that what you and your cohorts are working on so feverishly at the Mad Scientist lair/laboratory? One can only dream of the day that the dreaded Boogie Fever is eradicated once and for all!

carrot jello, That kind of not so subtle innuendo happens all the time to me in my truck. One time I switched the XM station and it said,'I want Your Sex', I flipped it again and it said, 'Sexual Healing'. Oh alright, it actually said 'Gaye Sexual Healing', which amused me greatly. Is this a modern day version of 'Carrie'? Should we be contacting Steven King?

humour, HOORAY FOR ME! You are the very first person to compliment my argumentative nature. Yes, we have six kids, and their own fighting and arguing is legendary in these parts.

Gia said...

That was hilarious!! I see we parent in much the same way. For instance:
I told my daughter that if she kept chewing her hair it would grow out of her armpits like her father's.
She doesn't chew her hair now.
:P

Garth said...

You might want to encourage her to develope cures for Knee-monia, Oldtimers Disease and Foot-In-Mouth, all of which I suffer on a regular basis.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Pisces, all your self described afflictions only lends to your utter charm and blunt personality. Don't stifle it.

By the way, much thanks to Pisces Iscariot(New Zealand)G'Day!

Gia (Canada)Gia Pet

humour and last laugh (Nepal) He's our official Infidel Katmandhu connection.

and miss biotech goddess(Bulgaria) for lending International flair and intrigue to this little blog. Every time we hear BOOGIE FEVER, it will be henceforth dedicated to you fine folks! Fo'Shizzle