Monday, March 20, 2006

My Mom Regards Me As A Female Dog

HA, MADE YOU LOOK!

*The above title is for comedic purposes only and does not actually reflect or insinuate profanity usage in today's blog entry. Sorry for any confusion or disappointment that this may cause*

Anyways, a lingering nickname since my long gone days of youth was given to me by my precious Mommy Dearest. As was all the fashion rage back in 1986, she decided to transform my thick, stick straight hair into a moppet of lustrous curls via a box of Ogilvie Home Hair Perm Kit. The results? I had to suffer 6 months of nappy, kinky hair before it finally grew out. My Mom was aghast at first when gazing at the tightly wound monstrosity that she created. Then she tried to convince me of the humorous aspect of it as the girls at school with professionally done salon perms ridiculed me and asked if I had a pubic hair wig on my head. My fabulously creative Mother took to calling me FIFI, in reference to my new poodle style hairdo, and it stuck. Even to this day my Mom still addresses birthday cards to me as FIFI, and uses FIFI in place of my given name. I'm just grateful that she didn't try to color my hair too, or I really would have resembled one of my French Poodle comrades in the picture above. So, NOT OOH LALA!

6 comments:

Sister Pottymouth said...

My sister, who is a nurse, has a really blunt coworker. One day, one of the (snobbier) male doctors came to work with newly permed hair. My sister's friend yelled out to him down the hallway, "Hey, Dr. Smith! Nice pubic hair transplant!" He never permed it again after that. My belated condolences on the bad perm (and the ensuing nickname).

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Okay, very rarely do I laugh out loud, but that was FUNNY, Julie! I'm accustomed to the nickname and I like it now, just not when I was a gawky 12 year old with hair like David Hasselhoff.

Sister Pottymouth said...

Glad to be a source of giggles, Fifi.

One of my other favorite hospital tales from my sister was about a doctor who almost got fired for something he said to a patient. Generally, this doc is pretty professional, but this one girl just got to him.

The girl came into the ER with her mother, complaining of nausea and other suspicious symptoms. After running all sorts of tests, including a pregnancy test, the doctor informed the girl that she was pregnant. The girl (and her mother) INSISTED that it was not possible. The mother was particularly insistent that her daughter "didn't do stuff like that."

After listening to the mother go on and on for a while, the doctor went to the window of the exam room and looked outside. Curious, the mother asked him what he was doing. His answer: "Well, last time this happened, a new star appeared."

wendela said...

Fifi, I'm sorry 'bout the bad perm. I had one on my waist-length hair back in my teens. No good nicknames, but I do remember going over to a friend's right after and a group of girls gasping and "ewww"ing, about how I had "ruined" my hair. *sigh*

On another subject, I say julie needs to add a hospital stories section to her blog. She has some good ones!

And I do like the new Maggie Moo look, by the way.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Thanks wendela, I like the cow too, she's purdy.

carrot, I didn't own a Members Only jacket. I was more the Valley Girl type, complete with leg warmers, fer sure, fer sure. My Mom refused to buy me Vans or parachute pants. Between that and the nickname, I lived through a very cruel childhood.

miss biotech, I colored my blonde hair red to impress this loser I was dating and had to live with freakin PINK hair for the next few months. I didn't know about using henna. Where were you when I needed you most?

Millie said...

Hey, Kandoo! I've missed Kandoo!

Mothers should not give daughters perms, unless they're licensed beauticians. Of this I am sure. Or cut their hair (unless it's bangs). But for your mom to seal the deal by calling you "Fifi" afterward... man, that's nervy. I feel for you. More and more, you remind me of Coz, who has similar mother issues.