OFFICIAL SPRING FASHION EDITION
Ahhhhh yes, the signs are all around us. Flowers starting to bud and bloom. The sun keeping us company for a little longer day by day. The birds and butterflies returning after their mass exodus to the South. It's unmistakable, the time of seasonal rebirth has arrived and Spring is upon us.
The fashion gods will be signaling the start of the Spring season in just a few scant weeks by announcing that you little fashionistas can once again don white apparel without fear of ridicule.
I'd just like to share a cautionary tale though that will potentially save you much embarrassment in the future. When I was a radiantly youthful middle schooler, I lacked a handy fashion guide such as this, advising me about the proper techniques of wearing white. As a consequence I had to learn one of life's cruel lessons completely on my own. My Mom purchased an amazing pair of snowy white Outback Red brand cargo shorts. I excitedly wore them to school the very next day to show off. However, ignorant of the centuries old rule of never wearing dark fabric under light fabric , I put on rainbow hued polka dotted underwear. Apparently, my vibrantly colored panty selection was on display for the amusement of the entire school. Due to my grievous error, the nickname, "DOTTY", was bestowed upon me for the rest of the year. Oh, sweet humility for the braggart soul. Heed the fashion wisdom of The Smiling Infidel to save yourself massive pain and suffering.
3 comments:
Your story makes me cringe! Middle school is such a horrible place to be awkward. I could totally see myself doing the same thing. I'm glad we all grow out of it (or at least mostly).
I ALLWAYS THOUGHT THAT YOU KNEW THAT COLORED UNDERGARMENTS ARE NOT TO BE WORE UNDER LIGHT CLOTHING. AT LEAST YOU DID NOT HAVE ONE OF THOSE SALSA GAS SPOTS UNDER A WHITE PANTS...YOUR NICKNAME WOULD HAVE BEEN DIFFRENT.
Julie, the worst is having a Mom who refuses to pick up her child at school unless she's dying. Dying of embarrassment doesn't count to her.
Hey anonymous, I got off lucky with the name Dotty because another unfortunate soul wearing white shorts had a surprise visit from the Menses Fairy. They called her SPOTTY. Besides, I call those other kind of spots, "Chalupa Surprise". SOmething not available on the Taco Bell menu, fo sho!
miss biotech, Looks like you're prone to remaking classic musicals. You know my amazing vocal talents, can I be a chorus girl in your new production of, Well, HELLO DOTTY?
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