Who Put The B.O. in Bodacious?

Miss Tumbleweed's husband. I wonder what their kids will look like?

I see a theme emerging here, so I propose that we celebrate a week of nicknames! If you have a nickname that doesn't inspire trauma and weeping in you, please share with the eager masses.

Meanwhile, here's another wretched tale of cruelty reminiscent of the characters in the movie, 'Mean Girls'. Since intricate daily hair and makeup routines were de rigeur amongst my fellow high school girls and a few goth boys, that made me oddball out. To compensate for my lack of glamour I went overboard in the hygiene department. While other girls were hoarding around the bathroom mirror with their arsenal of makeup and hairspray, I was re-applying my deodorant. I popped so many breath mints during the day that I practically had to pawn my stereo to support my Tic Tac habit.

Some girls weren't as conscientious. A perfectly lovely student in my P.E. class named Stacy had it all. Good grades, nice family, tall and thin, sunshiney personality. Sadly she also had something else that was immediately noticeable to all those around her. My friend Melanie nicknamed her BO, and it caught on quickly with the whole P.E. class, then later the whole school. Stacy asked, "Why do you guys call me BO?" Melanie told her it was because she looked like Bo Derek, but the truth is she earned the name BO because of her overwhelmingly powerful body stench. Luckily, only a few of us knew the real significance of the name, so at least her feelings weren't crushed. Makes me wonder about Bo Bice.

We didn't care about stomping on the feelings of another classmate, Amy, the surly drill team princess who fell from grace. Amy loved to ridicule us less coordinated, less sparkly girls. She refused to participate most of the time because she didn't want to crack her layers of makeup or break a nail. Amy took great pride in poofing and teasing her thin blonde hair with hair spray until it took on amazing heights surrounding her thin, pale face. Bon Jovi himself would have given her the big hair seal of approval. I adopted the name 'Miss Tumbleweed' just for her. Lacking any shame or manners though, we called her that right to her face.

Just never you mind what they called me.