Thursday, May 25, 2006
I'm Relinquishing My Children's Spiritual Guidance To Talking Vegetables
I may have irreparably damaged my children. Listening to the radio call in advice show of Dr. Laura Schlesinger has become a guilty pleasure that we all indulge in. Even my kids love listening, with a hand in occasional censorship from me, of course. Perhaps because it feeds into the,"HOT DOG! We're not as messed up as those poor unfortunate souls", syndrome. We curtailed TV time altogether, so we have to get our fix from something other than trashy daytime talk shows.
The above character depiction is that of Laura from our favorite cartoon series featuring Gospel oriented vegetables. Evil vegetarians, slaughtering and eating these helpful, preachy creatures en masse. And they say meat is murder? Anyway, we have a Laura doll which my kids call Dr. Laura. They sometimes pick up the doll to seek the answers to such thought provoking eternal questions as, "Is it wrong to sit on my sister and fart"? To which they pretend as though "Dr.Laura" is speaking to them. If they're dissatisfied with the response they shake the poor thing and tell it, "Bad. Bad Dr. Laura. It's the swirlie treatment for you". Then they dangle her precariously close to the toilet bowl. As their Mother, I should curb this deviant behavior immediately, and I would too, if only I wasn't laughing so hard.........